This year has definitely been one for the books. From moving to a new state and city, to leaving friends behind and making new ones, I have had my fair share of change and excitement. If you've been following along on this blog for some time, you know that the last 5 years or so haven't been the easiest. I don't think I've suffered more than anyone else, so please don't think that. I know that plenty of people have experienced loss, divorce, and death before. For me, it just seems to happen a lot more frequently than I'd like, but I can honestly say that I feel like I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Being 31 and having experienced what I have has made me who I am today.

This year as far as my anxiety goes, it has been better than many years passed. I feel like I have a handle on how my brain works when I am anxious and I have learned tools that help me to pinpoint what is actually anxiety and reality. No, the two aren't always related (isn't that fun?). I feel like with anxiety, you're more sensitive, on edge, and fearful. Things that normally wouldn't be a big deal are, and this year I feel more inclined to recognize when this is happening. I don't have the uneasiness I once did and I am working harder to come out of my shell around strangers and new people in my life.

Social media wise, things have been hard this year. I have felt attacked, belittled, and insignificant when it comes to my political and religious beliefs. These are things that are so personal and I don't share them with just anyone (although if you're my friend on Facebook you can see what I believe in). I hate the bashing that's gone on in all directions. It's so uncomfortable and the level is unnecessary (again referring to social media). I feel that so many people have become exactly what they say they hate (aka hateful). It's disheartening, but my hope is eternally in Jesus, and no one else. I don't think like a lot of people and my beliefs have and always will be different. I feel like my calling is to be in the world, but not of it. You do what you wish, but I don't have to be like you or think like you. Guess what? That's okay!

On the dating scene, things have been...interesting. I went on a few dates this year, but nothing worth mentioning. The dating pool is somewhat small, because again, politics. I have seen more people say, "Trump/Hillary supporters swipe left" than ever in my life. It certainly didn't feel that way the last election, but again, I digress (also see above). I am not trying to run away from the fact that it is this way, but it's just not me to be that way. I like to know all aspects of a person. If things don't align in some areas, that's fine. They just need to love Jesus and people. The rest is just preference. 

Financially, I would say this has been the best year. I am working toward stopping the credit card cycle and working to pay those balances off! I really hope for it be paid off sooner than later because I am tired and I have no social life 😃. But, this is the price to be paid. Don't rely on credit cards ever and have a budget. Simple. I've also ventured into owning my own business with SeneGence and it's so fun! I get paid to play with make up! (LipSense color is Blu-Red on my lips!)

This year has had its challenges, but it's had its amazing moments, too! Here's to bigger and better in 2018!

How was your year? Please share with me below!

MY THOUGHTS ON 2016

This time last year I was doing the very same thing I am right now. I have my hair up, my PJ’s on, and I am reflecting about this past year. This whirlwind of a year. Seriously, how did the year go by so quickly?

I keep thinking of the year 2015, and like always, I compare this year to years passed. The year 2015 had SEVERAL challenges. I have to say, next to 2013 (the year I got divorced), it was my hardest year yet. So much sorrow, so much loss, so much gone that once was. This year, I did lose 2 grandparents. This year, I did have my times of deep sorrow and sadness. When one year ends, you don’t forget the events that have happened. This year, I felt like I was reset. I thought to myself, “Okay, 2015 was bad. Let’s make 2016 better!” I was intentional in the beginning. I had some goal sheets to help me get organized. I purchased a planner that was sure to change my life for the better. I had three devotional books that I swore I would read daily. I promised myself I’d start going back to church regularly, eat healthier, lose weight, meet new people, maybe even fall in love. I had so many good intentions, but intentions they were. Eventually, the goal sheets became overwhelming, the planner became daunting, the devotional books were being read weekly, if I was lucky, and I had actually gained more weight this year.

So much intention, with little to show for it. Honestly, this year was amazing in that I turned the big 3-0 and celebrated it with people I love! I actually turned 30 and didn’t have a complete mental breakdown, although I did shed a few tears at dinner. I was given so much by so many people when I didn’t deserve it. I saw my niece and nephew grow this year. One started pre-K and the other started to walk, then run, then babble and talk. I became closer to my family in ways I didn’t think were possible. I saw my sister raise two of her children on her own while my brother-in-law was deployed. I saw people have babies, announce pregnancies, engagements, and get married. I saw some lose parents and grandparents and aunts and brothers. I have witnessed so much heartache and so, so much joy.

This year, I don’t want to fill out goal sheets, or planners, or swear I will do this or that daily. I don’t want to plan my life away, because really, when have my plans ever gone as well, planned? No, this year isn’t about being “intentional” because intentions don’t necessarily bring forth action. Intentions are the choices you hope to make. Intentions mean well, but rarely do they constitute results. For the year 2017, I want to live in action. I want to do, rather than talk. I want to have done something, rather than say that I will do it. I am not saying that goals, or planners are bad. I am the QUEEN of planners, but if all you do is plan, and don’t act, next year will look the same as this year.

I am asking God for guidance for this upcoming year. What will I do? Where will I go? What will this time next year look like when I act rather than intend to do something?

I hope this encourages you to do the same. I hope you ACT in 2017!

TEN THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM WORKING AT A COLLEGE

There are some interesting parts of my job. I know, you are probably thinking, "Duh, I have always wanted to know more about your super interesting life!" Well, good. I am glad you are here friend. I really am.

Working at a University is much more than just working any old 9 to 5. Sometimes I encounter some really interesting students. Sometimes I get "Thank You" cards from students and wonder what the heck I did to deserve such a nice gesture.

If you aren't familiar with the University system, or how colleges operate in general. Stick around!

1. Sometimes students or parents just want to talk. Good thing I have a Counseling degree. Sometimes it really does come in handy more than you'd think. From illness to death to just the normal struggles of a college student, I hear it all. Sometimes I hear more than I bargained for. Gotta love the non-filtered college kid or parent!

2. If you eat at your desk, you are not at lunch or on "break". You are just eating at your desk. I will get the occasional break or lunch time walk-in, but most of the time, it's just a 1 minute conversation. For the quick question and answer, I have no problem. But, if a college student wants to get in depth about their account and I am elbows deep in a salad (or a cheeseburger), it may be best to come back once I have digested.

3. It's not really a 9 to 5. Working at a college can be some long hours both at nights or on weekends (or both). If you want the typical 9 to 5, go home, and leave work at work, you need to find another occupation!

4. People in the community love you. When we moved to the small town we now inhabit, people were thrilled. We are in a rural part of Georgia/Alabama, so it was kind of like sounding an alarm when we got here. I nearly had my cheeks pinched by some grandmas over this.

5. Graduation makes it worth it. Let's be real, not every student will be my favorite. For those I love, graduation is sad, but I am happy they've accomplished their goal. For those that aren't my favorite (or have given me a hard time), graduation makes it worth it. Even then I am proud for them!

6. You get some sweet discounts. I get the teacher/education discount at Apple, and I also have an 18% discount with Verizon. Sometimes being in education pays off.

7. I learned how dumb I was in college. I have to admit, a lot of my college experience for my undergrad was a blur. Now, looking back, I realize how I did a lot of things on my own, but I am a rarity. A lot of kids these days have no clue what they are doing. I just have to be patient and helpful!

8. Millennials are always on their phones. If there's not headphones in their ear, they're are usually buried in their phones. I have had to snap at a student to get them to actually make eye-contact.

9. You get asked what classes you're in. A lot. I always get asked if I go here, if I went here, or when I graduate. My 30 year old self thanks all of you.

10. (Along with #9), I regularly get asked if someone who knows that they're talking about can talk to them. Uh, I've worked here almost 7 years. I know what I am talking about.

I hope you enjoyed a little glimpse into my work life.

#WERKFLOW 

BACK TO SCHOOL

If you have been around these parts for a while, you may know that I work at a University. Being in a learning environment everyday can be inspiring. Young people learning and chasing their dreams can make me want to re-evaluate my own dreams on occasion. Since I was young I have had an interest in Psychology. I am fascinated by how the mind works and how our minds affect literally everything about our day to day life. How we think affects how we behave and how we behave affects our environment around us. It can literally go on forever...

Lately, I have really been thinking about going to school to pursue my Ph.D. I am thrilled at the thought of being a “doctor”, but more than that, I am thrilled with the thought that this would lead to what I have always wanted to do - counseling. Counseling families and couples would be right up my ally. I have always had a significant interest in relationships, the dynamics of the relationships, and how they function. All of us are flawed, no doubt, but helping better relationships just makes my heart pitter-patter.

I know the sacrifice would be worth it, but it would also be hard. Working full time and going to school full time is no easy task. There is so much reading, studying, and writing that would need to be done. How can I find time to do it all? How can I be a woman who wants it all, and still get adequate sleep?

I have gone over the reasons why I want to, but I have to be honest in saying that there are some cons on that list. The amount of debt that I would accrue alone makes me cringe. But, I also have to be realistic about the fact that a terminal degree would lead to a higher pay grade. I could actually supplement my income by teaching and counseling. If I get licensed by the state, I could start my own counseling practice, whether it be inside or outside the church.

If you have any tips, advice, or thoughts at all, please leave them below! I am so torn, it would be nice to have some feedback!

Enjoy your Saturday, xx!

BREAKING UP WITH REGRET

I think in all of our lives we have done something we wished we hadn't. For me, I have more than a few. In the past three years or so, I have realized that nothing comes without a price. If you make a decision, and it doesn't work out so well, there are consequences for that. Just like if you were in the sun and didn't put on any sunscreen, you would get burned. Life is kind of that way. Without taking the necessary precautions, or doing something without fully thinking it through, you will get burned.

If you have been around this blog before, you know that in July of 2013, I was divorced. Being a 27 year old starting all over isn't so terrible, but when you're doing it in a completely different state than your family, and you're left trying to figure out how to pay your bills alone, keep a smile on your face at work, and handle the deafening silence at night, it can be challenging.

Now, looking back I honestly do wish I had never gotten married. Shortly after my divorce I didn't feel that way, and honestly, years from now, I may feel differently. But, for the last year or so, I just keep replaying the red flags over and over. If I am being transparent, they were there all along, I just chose to ignore them. Did I know everything? No. But, looking back, I knew enough to say, something wasn't right.

Living a happy life can't include living with regret. I find that regret is nothing more than living in the past, and it can absolutely paralyze you from moving forward. I have been in counseling the last few months (something I am not ashamed of), and I have come to realize that it's time for me to break up with regret. It's time to tell it goodbye, to let it go, and not pick it back up again the future.

Here are some ways you can break up with regret, too:

1. Write your regret a break up letter. I know that may sound childish, but you cannot believe the weight it will take off of your shoulders. Being 100% honest on the paper and letting your words flow from your heart is an amazing way to let it all go. I highly recommend it. 

2. Don't replay the "What if's". Honestly, we can't know what would have happened had we made a different decision, but that's the beauty of life. Sometimes the most comforting moments are those without knowing. I don't think I would have wanted to know how my life could have changed course had I not gotten married. It could have turned out better, but it could have turned out worse too. We just can't know. 

3. Allow yourself this one. Everyone makes mistakes, let's face it. We all have things in our lives that we wish hadn't come to be. I think one important thing to remember is that, you're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to be imperfect. These scars, stories, even "baggage" will honestly make you stronger. Who knows? Your story may be what changes someone else's life. 

4. Be open about regret. The thing that has helped me along in this process is being open with those I trust about how I feel. If I am able to just unload for a second, sometimes it eases the pain that is caused by regret. It's amazing how reassuring my friends & family can be, and it honestly puts things right back into perspective for me. 

I think without the mistakes, the regrets, the stories, we wouldn't be the people we are. I can't change the fact that I was married and divorced, but I can change the decisions I make in the future. I can use my experience to prevent me from making the same mistake again. I can use it to help someone in a similar situation. We can break up with the regret as long as we don't break up with the lessons.

Happy Monday, xx.

PAWPAW

Grandparents are such special people in our lives. When I was younger I had four grandparents that loved me, spoiled me, and took care of me. Grandparents really are an extension of your parents, except they let you get away with a lot more and hop you up on sugar before you head home. My Pawpaw is a man I look up to so much. I have always appreciated his strength and his willingness to do anything for anybody. I think he is rare and there aren't many men like him, except for my dad, of course. I would say they are pretty alike.

My Pawpaw started me on coffee when I was just two or three years old. It was mostly milk, sugar, then a little instant coffee, but I like to think he started the love affair for coffee and me. He always said I was a good eater (which I still am), and he always bragged on me being his first granddaughter growing up. He always reminded me that I was first. I don't think I have been first in anything in my life, but whenever my Pawpaw was around I felt first. He just had a way of making people feel that way. I would say that in most things he put himself last. He worked at Southern Railroad for 40 years and it was rumored that he may have taken one sick day. I don't know if many people can say that about their job, but he was immensely dedicated and dependable. He grew up during the depression and even took two years off from school so he could stay home and take care of his little brothers and sisters. He would milk cows and do the household chores, and to me, that says a lot about his character even now. He always did the right thing. I don't know of anyone who dislikes my Pawpaw, and I am sure others would tell you that very rarely would you ever hear a bad word about him.

Growing up he had a garden that he worked very hard, even in his 60s and 70s. Gardening vegetables is no easy task, and he won several awards and was even in the paper for his garden. I remember him having so much during the Summer months. We would stay out there for a week or so and he and Memaw would have us shuck corn and pick grapes. All of the easy stuff. My sister, cousins, and I would run through the corn and chase each other. We would eat grapes and make faces when we got to the pit and very ungracefully spit them out all over each other. He took us to his church's VBS and church camps and all of the kids would swarm him. I kept feeling a sense of pride knowing that so many kids loved my Pawpaw, but only I would have "first" in his heart. I like to think that God allowed him to survive such difficult times because He knew it would make him a better man for it. He's outlived most of his siblings, a wife, his friends, other family members, and faced far more tragedy than I have. I have never fought in a war, or lost siblings at a young age, or endured the Great Depression, or seen 9 decades of rapid change in the world. He is a rare man, and he is so incredibly loved.

Now he is in hospice care and there isn't anything I can do to save him. Although he's lived a long and full life the heart still stings a little. Hospice care is something I have witnessed before and its hard to see someone you love in that way. He's always cared for others, but now its our turn to care for him. I'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers for me and my family at this time. We don't know how much time we have, but we will cherish everyday that he is still here.

Thank you for reading about such a special man, xx.

COFFEE TALK

via

FEELING: I know this is so out of left field, but I don't think I have mentioned my confusion and shock about the upcoming season of the Bachelorette. Two bachelorettes? Has ABC lost its ever loving mind? Go for Kaitlyn. What the hell is Britt good for? Exactly. Nothing. Kaitlyn is gorgeous, actually has a personality, and last I checked she didn't BS her way through the Bachelor either. Kaitlyn is the obvious better choice. Let's just hope all of the guys on night one agree.

Rant, over.

THINKING: I have been thinking about my grandpa a lot lately. His health is not so good and he is currently in hospice care. He is honestly the best man I know. He has a heart of gold and has given so much to others. He's the man that would give you the shirt off of his back, stay days on end with you at the hospital, and give you half of his pantry before you leave his house. There aren't many men like him in the world and he's just so special to me and my family. Being sick and hearing the news of my grandpa and work being a little crazy is just a lot. I am honestly ready for this week to be over. Hopefully, this weekend an Auburn Softball game with my man will cheer me up for a few hours!

WATCHING: I have been watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and laughing my butt off. It is much needed right now with it being such a hard week. I love anything created or produced by Tina Fey and this series is no exception. If you love quick wit and awkward humor, check it out on Netflix!

EATING: Lots of soup. I have been addicted to Chick-Fil-A's chicken tortilla soup. It is so delicious and awesome for swollen tonsils.

READING: Hosea study on She Reads Truth, The Choice by Nicholas Sparks, #GIRLBOSS on Audible.

LISTENING TO: Actually not listening to much music lately. I have been so sick and just haven't thought about it.

LOVING: Fresh flowers. I need some in my life desperately.

THANKFUL FOR: Supportive friends and family. Downtime from work. Being able just to be. Quiet time. A good hug when I need it. Hot showers when my body is tired. Good antibiotics. A soft, warm bed. Sunshine to help me get over this rainy day gloom we've had recently. Warmer temperatures.

How's your week been?

Happy Thursday, xx.

RECOVERING

Being sick is the worst. I have to say the worst is over. I have been on antibiotics a few days and finally feeling more like myself. The worst part is just being so cooped up. I didn't want to infect my roommate, so I pretty much stayed in my room the entire time. It gave me a lot of time to think, pray, read, and just be.

I wrote a few days ago how hard that is for me. I always feel like I should be doing something. I know that it isn't 100% necessary to be productive 100% of the time, but I think we live in a culture that tells us we do. We have blogs, websites, planners, etsy shops dedicated to things to enable us to be more productive, more busy, more focused, more everything. Where is the freedom in that? I know that I am a big planner and I hate not knowing what I am going to do next. I had plans for my life years ago that have yet to come to pass. I have everything written down neatly in my Simplified Planner, but there are times when its okay just to be.

I read a lot of mom blogs because a part of me wants to know the truth about motherhood and another part really wants to look at their adorable pictures of their littles. I see the pressure. While I can't understand it, as a woman, I see the struggle between being a good, productive mother, and just being quiet, soaking in life, and letting things happen as they may. I know moms have to be organized and its best when your kids are on a schedule, but it can be binding to be locked into a schedule with no time for yourself. Being sick always forces me to slow down and just soak in life. It gives me time to do a self-check to see how things are really going inside. It's amazing what thoughts and feelings arise when you actually have time to think and feel them.

I encourage you to not wait until you are sick to just be. Even if it means taking 5 minutes to read a magazine article, or a 15 minute walk outside, or just sitting in a room quietly. I encourage you to do it!

Happy Wednesday, xx.

BEING SICK

While being sick has its down sides, it has it up sides too. This past weekend I realized that I was again plagued by strep throat. Really. Who gets this twice in less than a year's time? This girl - that's who. So, after going to Urgent Care, which was surprisingly urgent this time, I ran to my nearest CVS to get my prescripts filled, and pick up some sicky essentials.

Of course, on the list was Powerade Zero (my most fave drink right now), SMART water, Good Housekeeping, Southern Living, Kit Kat minis, Milk Chocolate Raisinets, Bach Rescue Remedy Pastilles (for anxiety & stress), and Bach Rescue Remedy Sleep Melts (haven't slept great lately). I honestly went home planning to completely relax when my phone vibrated to let me know my prescripts were ready. Seriously? They couldn't wait another hour. None the less, I took my antibiotics and cough syrup and enjoyed the much-needed down time.

I know that the next couple of months are going to be about 50 shades of crazy at work, so I know the downtime will be much appreciated. Who knew strep throat could elicit such gratefulness? Honestly, I am the worst about taking time to relax and rest. I really don't know how to do it very well. I feel like I should always be doing something or cleaning something or hanging out with someone. Being sick forces you to stay isolated, watch way too many shows on Netflix, read too many magazines, and sigh way too often, but it's good for me. I have to learn to let go of my productive, perfectionistic self, and just BE. Man, its hard.

I hope you all had a much better weekend than I did! Did I mention I missed out on going to see Beauty and the Beast because I was sick? Yes. Biggest bummer of all!

Happy Monday to me, xx.

COFFEE TALK

FEELING: Excited! I am so happy to be getting a little makeover for the blog. I have been wanting to really simplify my blog and prettify it and now its going to happen finally. I have loved all of my designs, but I feel like I was trying a little too hard. It's time to just get a simple design that really showcases my taste while being pleasing to the reader's eye. I purchased a pre-made Blogger template from www.designerblogs.com. Check them out if you want a little update!

Also, my bedroom makeover is underway. I still have a few more pieces to get, but its headed in the right direction. I am really feeling relaxed now that my room is in order.

THINKING ABOUT: Eating healthier and decluttering my life. I have so much going on right now, and I just want to be able to dedicate my time and space to things that matter. I definitely need to eat better (eating more good and less bad than the opposite) and I still have quite a few things to donate/get rid of.

LISTENING TO: My March Playlist and 90s Playlist on Spotify!

WATCHING: Secrets and Lies on ABC. Have you watched this show? It's cah-razy, but in a good way. Welcome back, Ryan Phillipe. We've missed you. Also, watching my usual - finishing up Gilmore Girls soon (sad), House of Cards, Scandal, Revenge, and going to start Unbreakable Kimmy Shmidt on Netflix (love Tina Fey's work).

EATING: Fast food, again. Ugh. What is wrong with me?! I need to grocery shop and start eating better.

READING: Finished Something Blue last week on iBooks (YAY!) and now I am onto finish my Audible books (all 5 of them, yeesh). I want to go ahead and start on #GIRLBOSS. I have heard good things about it.

THANKFUL FOR: Rainy days and days off from work. I got Friday off this week for Spring break. I did a whole bunch of nothing, which isn't like me. It was fantastic!

LOVING: The warmer weather (minus the depressing 4 days of rain/clouds). I really am ready for Spring time. I am also ready to go and get me a bunch of Tulips today. It's Tulip season!

Happy Saturday, xx.

COFFEE TALK

via

FEELING: I am feeling elated to be an aunt again. Meet little Hudson. I call him my huddy buddy. He is the sweetest, smushiest, most beautiful baby boy in the world. I was able to see him just 30 or so minutes after he was born and that made me so ecstatic! Babies are just precious fresh out of the oven, don't ya think?

THINKING ABOUT: When I will be able to get time off from work again. I know I have been off for about 5 days, but seriously, vacations are a requirement. Hopefully, I can get away to somewhere relaxing this Summer. Which also brings me to thinking about becoming more bikini ready. No, not perfect, but just better. Any suggestions? I am thinking about joining a gym again. I need to get back at it.

LISTENING: To my March playlist on Spotify. Its a mixture of all kinds of music, but mainly songs I have always loved, or am loving right now.

WATCHING: House of Cards and Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Both of those shows are awesome. I am pausing on Parenthood until I can finish these. Luckily, I have not binged as badly as I did last time on House of Cards. I have only watched 2 episodes since last Friday. SCORE!

EATING: Way too much Fast Food lately. It needs to stop!

READING: Something Blue on iBooks. I know I am like 372942975 years behind on this series, but I can't seem to put it down. I am also finishing up Yes Please on Audible. Amy Poehler is my girl crush right now!

THANKFUL FOR: My family and new nephew. He's so precious!

LOVING: I am loving that I have only had to work one day and now its the weekend. I am also loving that I will have my bedroom put together this weekend and you can guys can see it next week! YAY! I have been dying to get things how I like them and its finally happening!

Happy weekend, xx. 

COFFEE TALK

via

Long time, no see, huh? I know, I know. I have been failing miserably in the blogging department, but totally winning in the life department, so that has to mean something, right?

So, to give you somewhat of a life update, I thought this post would be best. Shout out to Ashlyn from Let it Be Beautiful for the inspiration on these posts. They really get the job done!

THANKFUL FOR: I am so thankful for second, third, hundredth chances. So often I forget to show grace to others (working on that), but its amazing the undeserved grace I am shown every single day. I like to think that those who give me the hundredth chances are the ones who are really meant to be in my life. I am not perfect. I mess up at work, in relationships, in friendships, at being vulnerable, at being merciful, at being loving. I am a hot mess sometimes, but those who stick around make every day so meaningful. I am just thankful that Jesus loved me first because I don't know how He puts up my shenanigans.

THINKING ABOUT: I have been thinking a lot about my parents lately. I still get "homesick" at 28 years old and I miss my parents terribly right now. I try and put a good voice on the phone, but I don't see them as much as I'd like to. Hopefully, that will change soon!

FEELING: Relaxed. I am not good at relaxing (mentally, anyway) and I have to force myself to, which isn't very relaxing at all. Lately things have really been getting to me at work, so this weekend really did wonders for me. It's amazing the weight I carry around thinking everything is my responsibility. At some point I need to learn to shut that off and shut it off for good. There are so many things simply out of my control.

LISTENING TO: Country and Pop playlists on Spotify. If you are my actual friend on Facebook you'll see this in your Newsfeed from time to time. Right now my favorite song is Ellie Goulding's "Love Me Like You Do".

WATCHING: "Parenthood". Oh, man! I was so scared to start this show, mainly because family dramas tend to really get to me, but this is so good thus far. I can already feel how invested I am in the characters. I have also been watching "The Bachelor" as per usual. Can I just say though that I am not too impressed with Chris? I just don't find him to be very...well anything...except for hot. That's about it.

EATING: Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

READING: Does Audible books count? I am really loving Amy Poehler's book, Yes, Please right now. She is hilar.

LOVING: Someone new. I don't want to say too much right now, I mean this is the internet, but I like to keep things somewhat private. Just know he makes me really, really happy and I am so stinking excited about it. I am also loving that it's almost March and that means Spring time is around the corner.

So, that is just a little tidbit for now, but I will be back with more soon!

GETTING THE MOST OUT OF PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING

I remember my pre-marital counseling like it was yesterday. We had a total of 4 sessions in which we went through a work book and several passages of Scripture. We discussed our relationship, our hopes, and fears, but I will say (shamefully), we weren't completely honest about everything about our relationship. We didn't take full advantage of the resources and help we were given. If we had taken full advantage, we A. May not have gotten married (which would have prevented the divorce) or B. We would have really evaluated and looked at our relationship and worked on making it better.

via

I want to offer some advice for you "to-be-marrieds" so you can take full advantage of pre-marital counseling. If you choose not to go through pre-marital counseling, I encourage you to change your mind. Even if you are already married, marriage counseling can do wonders as well! Is it the cure-all to all marriage problems, no, but you can rest assured knowing you did all you could do.

1. Be honest with your counselor. Whether your counselor is a licensed professional or a pastor, always be honest with him/her. Its important the counselor understand your relationship to its fullest. If there are underlying concerns or issues, counseling is the time to meet them head on. You certainly don't want to allow deception to creep into your relationship. Always get things out and on the table.

2. Share your fears. Being nervous or scared is normal when you're deciding to marry someone and spend your life with him/her. I was not honest about my fears about marriage and becoming a wife. I was scared about the future and leaving my parents, but I didn't voice it. Looking back now I should have been more up front about the normal fears that I experienced.

3. Religion is a factor. Whether you are Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist, there are elements of these religions that set a foundation for marriage. I have met several couples and been friends with couples that are either different religions, or one cared more about religion than the other. Marriage is not the way to convert your significant other, and your faith affects everything from raising kids, to celebrating life events, to dealing with life circumstances. Talk about your faith and do what you can to incorporate those beliefs into your marriage. It will be stronger for it.

4. Budget. Budget. Budget. Money was a hard thing for me to talk about. When we went to pre-marital counseling, we hardly talked about finances, and I think my marriage suffered. If you are spender or a saver, if you have no debt or $40,000 of debt, talk about this in pre-marital counseling. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard my friends talk about their finances and be shocked when their spouse divulged the amount of debt they were in. Talk about this way before you walk down the aisle.

5. Let's talk about sex. Sex is still a taboo subject for some people and sharing it with your counselor or pastor can be very difficult. Don't skate through this subject just because its uncomfortable. Aside from finances, sex is the second primary cause of divorce. Sex affects everything and everything affect sex. If you are in a hurry to get between the sheets with your significant other, you are not alone. Lots of couples who have waited are excited to embark on this new exciting journey, but everyone's expectations are different. If you and your partner are sexually involved, then be honest about it, and talk about it just as you have everything else.

If you went through pre-marital counseling and have any tips, comment below!

HIGH FIVE FOR FRIDAY

Oh, man did this week like fly by, or is it just me? Just me? Okay, then.

I am so glad it is FRIDAY! I have a good couple of weeks, so let's go through the good things, shall we?

via

1. I have not worked a full work week in over a month. I was sick (not good, but time off is) and went out of town to visit my sister a couple weeks back. 

2. I am FINALLY over strep! Thank you, Amoxycillin. I thought I was dying. 

via

3. I got to work from home a couple of days this week because of some system issues, which meant I got to work on things without distraction and get some things done around the apartment!

Laundry. Funnnn.

4. I am having a girls' movie night at my apartment tonight. The movie tonight is "Bridesmaids". We all need a good laugh this week, or really anytime. 

via

5. I have had pizza three times this week. Wait, is that a bad thing? Naaaahhhh. 

via

How was your week?! Comment below!

REFLECT: COMPETING WITH OTHERS

I have always struggled with competing and comparing myself to others. I think one of my struggles may even stem from this here blog (sorry, bloggy). I think a lot of my struggles have come from seeing others be successful and seeing what I don't have, and thinking I am an idiot for not being where 'they' are. You know, 'they'? Yeah, 'they' are everywhere.

The others/they/she/he/it is always going to be there. There is always going to be someone faster, stronger, better, and louder than me. I know that is true, but it doesn't make my inner self any happier just acknowledging it. I have to make real steps to overcome it. Lately, I have been embracing my body and accepting how I look. No, I am not the skinniest thing out there, but I am learning to embrace where I am and love who I am on the inside, so I can take care of who I am on the outside. My body is a reflection of who I have been and where I have come from the past four years. I haven't done my best to take care of it, but I have to remember the good things I have done and the good things about me. That is how I will break this vicious cycle.

I can't compete any longer with those around me. As a woman, I think its natural to do this. I think its natural for us to want to look out for ourselves, but the truth is, we all do better when we lift each other up. If a blogger is gaining rapid readership, I have to accept the fact that they are working their tail off to make that happen. If someone has a fit and healthy body, its most likely because they eat right, exercise, and take care of it. There is no reason for me to get down on myself when others around me are doing well. It should motivate me to work that much harder!

What do you think? Have your struggled with this before?

TIPS TO STAY MARRIED

VIA

One of God's greatest blessings is marriage. Even now as a 28 year old women who has experienced divorce, I know the fragility of marriage and what it takes to have a healthy marriage. The wedding is just the beginning of a hard, messy, beautiful, joyful, sometimes tragic, mysterious union that happens between two people. When I see two people commit their life to one another I am brought back to my own wedding day. I felt completely at ease on that day, without a shadow of a doubt, this was the man I was to spend the rest of my life with. I knew the commitment I was making, but I had no idea what was to come. I had never been married and I was learning all of it and experiencing all of it at once (as do most people married for the first time).

When people ask me about my personal journey and what led me to the place I am today, I am reminded of my own experiences. What I went through may not ever happen to you (I pray it doesn't), but I still think my story matters. I think all of the stories of those who have experienced divorce matters. I once heard that there is a winner and a loser in every divorce. Whether or not one is solely to blame for the divorce - which isn't always the case - there is a winner and a loser. I don't think I agree with that statement. How can anyone "win" in divorce? Both spouses are hurt. Both spouses are devastated. Both spouses are left picking up the pieces of the life they once had.

My advice for married couples (or married-to-be) is to stay married. If at all possible, please, please, stay married. Easier said than done I know. Here are a few pieces of unsolicited advice.

1. Have the hard (read: essential) conversations. 
Don't wait until after you're married to talk about the big stuff. Be honest with one another and tell your secrets. You don't have to necessarily give detail for detail your entire life story, but don't leave out things that are going to come back up one day and potentially hurt your spouse or betray their trust. Get it all out on the table.

2. Talk about money, sex, and kids before you walk down the aisle. The three biggest things in a marriage are money, sex, and kids. How do you plan to organize your finances? Are you a spender or a saver? Joint bank accounts or separate? Talk about sex. Frequency, expectations, past partners (seriously), and what you hope to gain from your sex life. Lastly, children. Do you want kids? How many? What kind of parents do you want to be? How do you see yourself raising the kids? Will one parent work and one stay home? Will both work? These conversations may lead to some eye-opening issues that are definitely worth exploring.

3. Spend time with each other's family. 
Family is HUGE in a marriage. Even if you have the craziest family in the world, your future spouse needs to meet them and get to know them better. When I was engaged (for a hot minute) I spent so much time with my family and fiancee together that we all became really close before the wedding. I think its important to know what you're marrying into. It may not be all roses and group hugs, but at least experience his/her family for who they are.

4. Talk about your hopes and dreams for the future and help each other get there.
Nothing is better than a supportive spouse. When you express your dreams and aspirations your spouse should be there cheering you on! If they tear you or your dreams down, I would re-evalute the relationship. Nothing is more detrimental than an unsupportive spouse (or worse a selfish one).

5. Accept your spouse for who he/she is.
I can't tell you how often I hear conversations between married couples where one is trying to "train" the other. Training to me translates as "trying to change my spouse". Your spouse should never have to be trained. Just as you have your own little quirks and things that you may do that bug him/her, so does your spouse. If you like things a certain way, have a conversation with your spouse and explain the importance of why you like something that way. It could be the method in which you clean or do laundry, or it could be that when you get home from work you need some time to decompress and be quiet. If could be that you like to have dinner going and ready by 6:30 p.m. Whatever it may be, don't simply "train" your spouse to accommodate you, but talk through it.

What tips do you have for staying married. Comment below!

SUNDAY EDITION

Linking up with Let it Be Beautiful and All the Things, Etc. for Sunday Edition.

WAIT. IS THAT THE AIRPORT?

I was going to call this post, "That Time I Almost Died in a Van", but I thought that was a little dramatic.

Here marks the first and last time I ever drive a 15-passenger van full of college kids. So, there was a Braves game that the kids were going to go to a few weeks back. Volunteer drivers were to pick the kids up on campus, drive them to the Braves game, take them somewhere to eat, and then drive them back to campus. I thought, No big deal, I got this. So I decided to volunteer. Not to mention I got to go the game for free. No, I had never driven a van of that magnitude and I certainly hadn't done it in Atlanta traffic (no, I'm not suicidal). 

So, I go and pick up the van and try and get used to basically driving a bus. It's not so bad so I head to go and pick up the kids. They all pile in. The van starts to feel heavier, weighed down, and tighter. I start to slightly panic, but its all good. I will be fine. The other driver was a bit more experienced, so I decided to follow her to the stadium. I didn't realize she would be driving at about 100 mph, but I try and keep up the best I can. The van starts to do this really fun thing where the air doesn't work when I accelerate and the steering wheel shakes so bad I feel like I may lose control. I grip the steering wheel tighter and tighter to try and keep it straight.We get to the stadium (finally) and I pour myself out of the van. I am sweating. I can barely breathe. I was a little stressed out. Luckily, I had about 3 or so hours to sit and enjoy the game before heading back. Our first choice was to go eat at the Varsity, which wasn't too far away. The roads are tight in Atlanta, but I can manage. Then, the kids want Dwarf House instead, which is about 10 minutes from the Atlanta airport. More expressways. Yay.

So, we all pile in and head to the Original Dwarf House (which kinda made me excited because I spent many a nights there in college). I began to follow the other driver and suddenly there are 5 white vans on the expressway. I get nervous and ask one of the students which one was ours. She points and I follow. I begin to worry though because the other driver is going a different way. Did I mention I can't see at night? Yeah. Low and behold it was the wrong van and we end up driving through the airport. It made me feel like when you walk into a classroom and you know its not the right classroom, but everyone is looking at you and wondering WTH you're doing there. You feel so bad that you sit down anyway and do your best to act like you belong...Yeah it felt like that.

We end up getting to the Dwarf House about 10 minutes after the other van and I am so stressed and panicked that I just drink water and sit there. I will say the students were super understanding and laughed at the whole thing. I can laugh now, but at the time it wasn't funny...The entire time I am psyching myself up to drive that monstrosity again. We eat get back in the van and haul ass home. I am so exhausted and tense that I am starting to get sore in my arms and shoulders. Even now my palms sweat thinking about it. Luckily, we all made it back alive and I swore to never, ever, ever, ever get back together with that van again. We are dunzo. Finished. Brokeded up. For real.

So, long story short. I banned myself from driving vans.

'CAUSE I WILL MAKE THIS PLACE YOUR HOME

via

Home is a big deal for me. I have always been obsessed with the idea of buying a house, filling it will children, and having so much love inside it hits you like a brick at the front door. The idea of "home" has always resonated with me. I think it comes from moving 7 times in 4 years. Maybe?

I am about to embark on yet another move. More on that later. I just feel myself being pulled more and more to the thoughts and feelings that are again associated with making another move. After my divorce I wanted nothing more than to feel settled and comfortable. I have moved at least once a year, if not multiple times in one year, only to pick up again before the dust had a chance to settle. I think something inside of me just longs for permanence. Something insides yearns for stability and comfort. Oh, how I love to be comfortable!

Having struggled with anxiety in the past, I always worry that it will flare up once I start packing up the boxes. Change - even welcomed change- comes with its little pang of fear and anxiety. I always struggle falling asleep the first few nights and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling disoriented when I try to find the bathroom. Hopefully, it will be different this time. I am not sure if this move will be for a year, or more, but I know at this point in time, I am learning more and more to just go with it. I love structure and I desire to have a routine that goes unchanged, but I also have to accept that I am 28 years old, single, and able to go wherever life takes me. I may not always enjoy it, but I can definitely accept and learn from it.

I see myself now having girls' nights. Staying up late watching movies and drinking wine. I see myself having friends over for home-cooked meals. I see myself maybe even planting a garden of some sort. It's exciting stuff!

[title comes from Philip Philips' Home]

TOP 10 FUNNIEST MOMENTS IN COMEDY

I love comedy. Its seriously the best genre of books, movies, and TV Shows. Something about comedy instantly puts a smile on my face and makes me forget about all of the bad in my world for a few minutes. I thought it would be fun to go through my top funny moments in comedy. These are from my favorite movies and TV Shows and maybe even rank high on your list.

I will go classic countdown style and name them from funny to most funny.

10. The "O" scene in "When Harry Met Sally".

Can you imagine if this actually happened while in a restaurant? I can bet I would not be as composed as Harry if Sally were doing the "Oh yeah" and "ohmygod" across from me. I would probably just resort to climbing under the table until it was over. Oh wait, that may be worse...

9. "The Landlord" episode on "New Girl"

This scene had me in stitches! I honestly felt like this would have been a hard scene to get through if I were one of the actors. It's awkward, but the way Jess and Nick compete and try to get the other to buckle first is hilarious. Just look it up on YouTube. You won't be disappointed.

8. Will Ferrell ("Ron Burgundy") in his glass case of emotion in "Anchorman".

Hilarious. Just hilarious. I don't even know what to say. It kills me!

7. Just this video from "30 Rock". I die.


6. The airplane scene in "Bridesmaids". I mean, "It's civil rights. This is the 90's".

5. Jennifer Aniston ("Catherine") and Adam Sandler ("Danny") talking about their fake marriage in "Just Go With It".

This movie is one of my favorites and I have probably watched it 20 times. I think these two should do 100 more movies together. This movie has everything. The kids are pretty hilarious in this movie too. One of my favorite scenes is this one you see above. They are trying their best to make the other look bad and its just hilarious to see them out lie the other.

4. Asian Jim prank on "The Office".

I don't know if this is funny without any context, but Jim always pranks Dwight and gets him riled up. This prank was by far one of the most elaborate and really pissed Dwight off in this episode. It had me rolling because of the extent Jim went to pull one over on Dwight.

3. Melissa McCarthy ("Megan") pooping in the sink in "Bridesmaids".

2. Square dancing sequence by Pauly Shore ("Crawl") in "Son in Law". 

This movie came out in the early 90's and I love it. To this day, I still watch it and crack up. My favorite scene is the square-dance scene when "Crawl" (Pauly Shore) goes on stage and tries to direct the mid-western folk to do a different kind of hoe down. You have to rent, buy, watch it somehow. It kills me. "Buff the wood!"

1. My number one most favorite Comedy Moment is...Will Ferrell ("Ricky Bobby") stabbing his own leg when he thinks he's paralyzed. 

 

So, there you have it. My top ten picks in comedy! What are yours?