Dear Readers,

You may have seen my thoughts on this past year, but I also have some hopes for 2017. I have hope because the Lord promises it to us in His word. I have hope because there’s no reason not to. 2016 really tested my faith, but it affirmed it as well. I have no solid foundation without Jesus. I have no hope without Jesus. He is and will always be my side through the muck, muddy, unclear, and confusing times. This world throws so much at us all the time! We are constantly bombarded by society’s expectations of what success is, of what power is, of what acceptance is. I have seen so many of my friends and family members fall victim to the expectations set by this world. They end up burned out, frustrated, and starving for something better.

This year, I have hope that:

1. I will continue to strive toward Jesus. I will become more like Him and less like me.
2. I will be generous with my time, my words, and my money.
3. I will learn from my mistakes and never make the same ones again.
4. I will fill my body, mind, and spirit with life giving things, rather than toxic, unhealthy, and joy stealing things.
5. I will become more content in my life.
6. I will embrace new opportunities.
7. I will become more creative with my resources.

I know that all of these things are what anyone would want in the new year. I hope to have these things and more. Sure, the bad will happen, but I am tired of living waiting for the other shoe to drop. Good can be just around the corner, and that is my mind-set. There is always something better right around the corner!

I wish you all well in this new year. I hope that no matter what happens you have a strong support system around you, but remember, you are your own worst enemy. Don’t let yourself get in your way!

CHEERS to 2017!

Happy New Year!

xx,
Melissa

ANXIETY UPDATE

This is how I look when I am anxious.

I have written a few posts about my anxiety on the blog, and I feel as though it's time for a little update. If you have experienced feelings of anxiety or depression, trust me, you are not alone. I have been dealing with anxiety since I was a child. I remember feeling uneasy and fearful and not really understanding what it was. I couldn't quite pin-point it, but I felt as though something was wrong. Truth be known, I have now gotten to the root of the issue, so to be honest, something was wrong. That's a whole other post though...

Now that I have been seeing a counselor for nearly a year, and have been prescribed anti-anxiety medication, I feel as though my anxiety has become very manageable. I used to fight my anxiety with all I had, but I knew once I stopped fighting against it, and started to flow with it things would get easier. I was so angry. I was so frustrated that I couldn't go with the flow. It's similar to skidding in a car on an icy road. When you steer into the skid, then you can get out of the skid easier (and alive). It's the same way with anxiety. When you don't fight it, recognize it, and use your "tool kit", the anxiety or panic attack will surpass faster.

Tool Kit Includes:
1. Deep breathing exercises.
2. Focusing on the present things around me.
3. A hot, relaxing bath.
4. Talking about my feelings with family or friends.
5. Reading Scripture, worship music, prayer
6. Doing something active or something I enjoy.
7. Journaling.

All of these things can help ease and even eliminate my anxiety.

Last week, my anxiety hit pretty hard. I had a very full week (at a conference) and had to travel an hour and forty minutes one way and back each day. That made for hours in the car, in Atlanta traffic, with very little relaxation or downtime. I knew one thing - I was physically exhausted. When mental or physical exhaustion hits, my anxiety gets to be at an all-time high. I knew that I needed to focus on the tasks at hand, not get overwhelmed, and get through as best as I could until Friday. Luckily, I had plenty of downtime this weekend, so I am feeling much more at ease. To relax I typically hang around the apartment, take baths, do face masks, take naps, and watch Netflix or movies. I was also with my roommate all weekend and we got to eat out a couple of times and run errands. If I were completely alone all weekend, I would not have felt as recharged. I felt alone at the conference all week, so recharging during the weekend for me was having time to be social and connect.  If I feel as though I have had very little alone time during the week, I tend to hide away for a little while to recharge. It depends on my circumstances.

Managing anxiety is all about balance, and it can be pretty hard! I think for me, keeping a lighter schedule, having time to myself and with others, and doing things I enjoy helps manage it much better.

If you feel as though your anxiety is creeping in or increasing, take a moment to reflect on your schedule. Have you been working longer hours? Have you been rushed for time? Have you been more tired lately? Have you been by yourself too much or too little? All of these things can attribute to how you feel.

Feel free to share with me your tips for managing anxiety, or if you have any questions, let me know. You can also send me an email to melissafayeblog@gmail.com.

CURRENTLY COVETING: SWEATERS

I am so excited that #sweaterweather is finally here. I have been dying for cooler temperatures here in Georgia, and they are finally here. I love a good sweater. I can pair them with jeans for a casual look, or I can add them with slacks or skinny black pants for work. Here are the current sweaters I am coveting.

Cozy and festive!

How comfy does this look?!

Hunter green is my jam right now!

Perfect for work or weekend!

Such a unique look!

Again, with the Hunter green!

Bright and casual.

All sweaters can be found on the Old Navy website. BONUS! They have 50% of all sweaters, plus another 30% off for online orders with Code WARM. Head there now! What are your favorites?!

This post is not sponsored by Old Navy.

BREAKING UP WITH PERFECTION

Growing up, I always had an idealistic, perfectionist approach to life. Even now in my adulthood, I still want things to be perfect. The problem with perfection is...

1. It isn't realistic.
2. It does not give way to grace, mercy, or human error.
3. It makes you feel bad when perfection isn't met.

There was one point this year that I just accepted that not everything can be perfect, and as long as it’s done, or as long as I am trying, perfection is no longer the goal.

I am my worst critic. I know people all around who know me just gasped! But, it’s true. No one has to tell me what I’ve done wrong, or how I messed up because I am already saying 100 obscenities in my mind about what I did wrong. Being a screw up isn’t really my thing. I want to appear put together, like I have life beat. But, can I tell you something? I DON’T!

When you’re going through life trying to keep this “I got this” persona, it can be exhausting. If something is broken, I want to fix it. If something isn’t working, I try to find out why, and I try with all of my might to change it. The truth is, I am not in the restoration business, nor am I a fairy godmother. I had to learn the hard way (especially this year), that no one, nothing, is perfect. Nothing can be perfect because in our humanness, we can’t be perfect. I have had to learn to trust God to fix things. And guess what? God only fixes what we want Him to. God only intervenes and changes things when we ask Him to. If I am all, “I got this”, God can’t do His work. Why would I not want to give up the things in my life to the Creator? Maybe I am a control freak? (Okay, that is a whole other post, Melissa!)

I have this innate ability to love, care for, and fix things that are broken. Can you imagine my dating life? Yeah, it’s pretty hilarious! But, I don’t want someone based on their potential. I want someone based on their reality. I am done trying to fix things and make things perfect. The only perfect One is Jesus.

So, if you are like me, tired of always trying to be perfect, can I help you out? Break up with perfection! Send it a Dear John letter, send it down the river, or even buy it a pizza that says, “I’m breaking up with you” spelled out in pepperonis. Whatever you have to do to let go, do it!

Here are some tips to get your started!

1. Journal about your need to be perfect and then read it to yourself.
It may sound silly, or feel awkward, but it may reveal a lot about why you want things to be perfect. Is it because you feel like you won’t be good enough? Is it because you want to keep control? Is it because you feel like it’s the one thing you got going for you? Let me tell you something, you don’t have to be perfect to be worth it. You don’t need this cookie cutter perfect life because it’s boring! There is beauty in the colorful messes we make!

2. Write a "break up letter" to perfection.
This is my go-to. Tell perfection to take a hike and be specific on why. This may reveal more than you think!

3. When something gets done, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just needs to be done. I had to learn this in my professional life. I am not saying to make mistakes on purpose, or to not pay attention to detail. I am saying, don’t get so caught up in making each detail perfect, that you lose the ability to finish things. Striving for perfection can be feel paralyzing, when perfection isn’t the goal. Just getting done and finishing needs to be the goal.

4. Take it to God and leave it there.
I am a Christian, so my life revolves around one person - Jesus Christ. When things in life are hard for me, my savior is there for me. He loves me despite my humanness. He loves me despite my imperfections. A central theme in Christianity is to give all we have to God. We worship Him at church, yes, but we also worship Him with our lives. We cannot be whole without Jesus. We cannot be redeemed without Jesus. So, for me, to be able to function through life healthy and joyful, I have to constantly surrender things to the Lord. One of those things is my need to be perfect, and my need to make things in life how I want them.

5. Symbolize this break up with perfection in a meaningful way.
I regularly see a counselor (No shame, people! I whole-heartedly believe in counseling/therapy. It was my major!). Dealing with anxiety and depression has made me take a hard look at how my mind works and how my perspective affects my behavior. One of the first things I had to do in counseling was destroy my perfect life that I had built in my head. Growing up, this was my escape. I saw things in how they should be lenses, rather than how they are lenses. This has been daunting to break through. In the near future, I really want to symbolize this new-found break up in a good, meaningful, healthy way. I haven’t decided how yet, but I will soon! If you are making the same move, I suggest doing this too!

Life is too short to worry about being perfect. Be who you are. Be bold enough to be real with yourself. Be kind enough to accept you. There is nothing wrong about loving yourself right where you are. So much of my life has been spent being hard on myself, and honestly not being kind. I do think there’s something to be said about loving yourself. Giving yourself a break.

Can you relate? I would love to hear about your story in the comments! 

IN THE MIDST

In the midst of life, it is easy for me to forget that there is very little I have control over. In the next couple of months, I am turning 30. I never thought this time would come, but here it is. At 30 years old, I saw my life looking very different than it does right now. Have I accomplished a great deal? Yes, of course! But, there are still things I long for that have yet to come to fruition.

I thought by this time in my life, I would be married, owning my first home, and have a little babe on the way. I saw myself being a relatively "young" mom, and having my home ready and waiting for littles to come along. Now, my children have been replaced with my niece and nephew (which I wouldn't trade), and my married life has been replaced with singleness. My job as a SAHM has been replaced with a job in higher education (which I also wouldn't trade). My home ready for littles is now replaced with an apartment filled with two single females and all of their junk. No, the picture I had envisioned of my life up until this point has not come to be.

I feel two distinct things about this.

1. Disappointment. I am disappointed. I am disappointed in myself for having made some wrong decisions. I am disappointed in others who have hurt me and even left me, or thrown me to the side. I am disappointed in God. Does He not hear me? Does He not see the struggles I have? Does He not care about what I want or who I want in my life?

2. Scared. I am scared about what this could mean for my life. Am I destined to be single and just didn't know it? Does the family I always envisioned not exist in God's eyes? I am scared about what I could be missing. I am scared of some of the risks that I could not be taking. I am scared that this feeling of not being able to move forward or backward will last forever.

Here's what I do know about these feelings.

1. They are valid. Disappointment and fear are very real feelings that a lot of people turning 30, 40, or 50 can relate to. Honestly, these probably aren't exclusive to milestone birthdays, or birthdays in general. These feelings I have wrestled with for a few years now. I think turning the BIG 3-0 is just magnifying the emotions.

2. They won't last forever. I still have many joys in life to embrace and look forward to. My life isn't over, it's just beginning. While I do have the feelings of disappointment and fear breathing down my neck, I still have hope. I have glimmers of hope when I complete a big project at work, or when I cheer up a friend, when I hear my niece and nephew laugh, or when my roommate and I uncontrollably laugh in a drive thru lane because of something dumb I said.

I know that there is so much to this life that I have yet to even fathom. I know that in these moments I am being refined and softened. I know the Lord is working things out for my good and that He is listening to me when I cry out to Him. Turning 30 for me is a big deal and right now it feels hard. I feel anxiety and I feel panic, but I pray constantly for peace. I pray for the joy that only Jesus can give. We all have our struggles and we all have things we are waiting for.

As for now, I will wait.

Happy Monday, xx.

DATING APPS & WHY THEY ARE GOOD

Dating apps are all the rage these days. If you aren't using a dating app, or online dating, how are you even meeting people? Okay, I know that you can still meet people organically, but dating apps are just too fun to miss out on. They are hilarious, interesting, and honestly, they give some comedic relief about being single. I am one to take life way too seriously sometimes (Thanks, Dad), but I also appreciate a good laugh once in a while, especially when it comes to the dating arena.

Dating apps are convenient, low-risk, and can really help you figure out what you want and what you absolutely DON'T want.  Here are the most popular dating apps available on iTunes!

Happn

Tinder

Bumble

Clover

Coffee Meets Bagel

Match

Christian Mingle

Here are the advantages of dating apps: 

You get to decide who you are going to be. You can be the absolute best version of yourself. 

You find out what you like and don't like. You can really narrow down your hobbies. 

You can take about 100,000 men/women with you wherever you go. 

You are welcome to judge and be judged. There is no sugar coating it. 

You can differentiate the scumbags from the nice guys. Typically, the nice guys vanish in a poof after a few days of conversation, but hey, at least you tried. 

You can swipe left or right when you're bored and still be "productive". 

You can change your profile, your likes and dislikes as your life changes. 

You can delete the damn thing whenever you want. 

If you are single, under the age of 40, and aren't online dating or using dating apps. I encourage you to do so. Will you find the man of your dreams? Probably not. But, you could find a friend, open a door to new friends, or find out that you aren't exactly where you want to be in life, or who you want to be, and start making yourself better. I am not saying you will find prince charming, but I am saying you will be inspired to be better. I think people who online date are either completely full of crap, or completely honest. I have found very few that are in between. I am getting pretty good at detecting full of crap guys. Those are usually the ones who invite you over after talking for 7 minutes, or offer to give you a body massage after 2 days of talking to them...Yes, that has happened to me. More than once.

For more information regarding online dating sites, and which ones will work best for you, head over to www.reviews.com/online-dating-sites/.

I don't know how God will bring the right man into my life. I am not sure that He ever will, and that is okay. I want to keep myself open to possibilities, and open to who I can be.

What do you think of dating apps or online dating? Pro or anti?

Happy Friday, xx.

ON THE PRESENT

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I have been making my way through the Jesus Calling devotional, which I love. I am trying to be more consistent with reading it and the scriptures along with it, but it's a work in progress. It's shameful to say, but I have not been a huge Bible reader in the last few years. I chock it up to being in a Christian college and constantly memorizing, reading, studying, and writing scripture. After so long, I just felt burnt out. How horrible, right?

Recently, I have come to realize just how important consistent Bible reading and studying is. I get my share at church, but it's also important to nourish my soul with the scriptures on a daily basis. I really get caught up in life, make excuses, but I feel as though every time I open the Bible or my Jesus Calling devotional, the Lord speaks so loudly, it's almost comical (in a joyful way). I have mentioned it before, but I struggle and have struggled with anxiety for quite some time. I always keep my focus on the things going on around me, the future, what I don't have, and freaking out about when the things I want to happen will. It gives me this heaviness and it's hard to snap out of sometimes. When I read the Bible, I feel rested and refreshed. I remember that the things my eyes see will pass away, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Everyday, I am reminded that each day the Lord gives me is a gift. I must cherish and treat it as such. The moment my eyes tear away from Jesus, the more overwhelmed and anxious I become. I have learned to accept and appreciate my anxiety. I know that sounds weird, but I think its my body's way of telling me that I am out of balance, and that my eyes need to be fixed on Jesus.

As I rode with my roommate to work today, in a terrible thunderstorm, I remembered to be at peace because Jesus is always with me. I smiled to myself because once again, the devotional this morning was absolutely written for ME! It just feels so wonderful to see and feel God's presence again. I am reminded of how much he loves me, and yet I still can't fathom the depth of it.

I hope you find little reminders of the Lord's peace today. I pray your heart be focused on the eternal things unseen, rather than the chaos that may surround you.

Happy Wednesday, xx.

FEBRUARY GOALS

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The month of January went by extremely fast! I have to say that I am not too happy about that. See, I turn 30 this year, so the slower time goes the less I freak out. Does anyone else feel this way about turning 30, or did you when you turned 30? Ugh. I am terrified!

Since February is the month of love - I am going to center my goals around relationships and making those better!

January Goals:
Eat only Jenny Craig food
Work out (cardio/strength train) for at least 30 min. 4-5 days per week.
Volunteer in my city.
Host at least one get together, or dinner for another person or group.
Save $100 this month.
Reduce coffee
Completely abstain from drinking diet soda.
De-clutter and finalize dining room.
No social media on weekends and no social media after 8 p.m. on weeknights.

So, I didn't do great, but again, GRACE. I think I bit off more than I can chew. I tend to do that sometimes, which leads me to be in this vicious cycle of setting unrealistic expectations, then being hard on myself for not meeting them. I am changing that this month. I have less goals, more reachable goals, and I am going to give myself some grace when it comes to these goals. Progress, not perfection.

February Goals:
Try HomeChef (food delivery service similar to Blue Apron and Hello Fresh) for one month.
Work out at least 2 days per week (30-35 min.)
Reduce social media/TV watching after 9 p.m. and read before bed.
Unplug one weekend this month.
Finish my Budget for this month in my workbook.
Tithe consistently. #Godfirst

I am so excited for this month, but sad that this year is already going by so quickly! Next month I hope to take a trip with friends to Nashville and then my 30th birthday is coming up in June! AH! Time, slow down!

HOW TO BE A GOOD ROOMMATE

I always found the idea of having a roommate scary. Roommates bring all kinds of horror stories. From birth through college, I never had to share a room with anyone. My sister and I shared a bathroom, but that wasn't really an issue too often. In college, I was always hearing stories of roommates from hell. College students can be dirty, messy, loud, and just all-around terrible sometimes. Me? I never had that problem. I had the best roommate of all time. Me! I was clean, quiet, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. I was always thinking to myself how good of a roommate I was. Kidding. Kind of.

Now that I am 29, and have a roommate there are some serious perks.

1. I always have someone to talk to rather than myself.
2. I have a constant dinner date.
3. I have someone who can help me put together outfits.
4. I have someone to go on McDonald's runs with.
5. I have someone to binge watch shows with. Holla!

Also, it helps me tremendously financially! I cannot tell you the load that having a roommate has taken off.

Being friends with your roommate is rare, I have heard. Most of the time, roommates are just that. My roommate, however, is my friend, co-worker, confidant, and sister. We do almost everything together, and honestly, she has helped me to learn to trust again (shout out Caley!). So, if you want to better your relationship with your roommate, sister, husband, wife, etc., here are some pointers.

1. Be courteous and remember it's their space too.
It was an adjustment for me in the beginning to share space with someone. I am particular about how things are organized, but I don't have it all together. Sometimes, I need to collaborate with my roommate to find what works best for both of us. I am clean, or at least clean up after myself, I don't blare music loudly, and I certainly don't impose myself in her space. If she wants to invite others over, or vice versa, we talk about it first so each of us is aware. That is very important!
2. Find common ground.
I am very lucky to have a roommate who appreciates my taste and has a similar taste to mine. We are able to decorate, or find things for the apartment that we both like and enjoy. We also have similar hobbies, interests, and backgrounds. We each have a different story, but there are a lot of things that are similar. We each really like watching the Bachelor, so there's that. Finding common ground can enable you to appreciate your roommate for who they are, and it can make living together a lot easier.
3. Accept that things will change. 
When I went from living alone to living with someone, it was almost a culture shock. I wanted to be sure that I was courteous and respectful of her space, but I also wanted to be sure that I made the space my own as well. Now, it was odd to come home with someone (we work at the same place) and then find a balance between hanging out and having alone time, but we both take cues pretty well. If I need some time to myself, I went to my room immediately after getting home and closed the door. My roommate understood that I just needed some time, and she was okay with it. There are times where she would be having a conversation on the phone, so I knew to be respectful and allow her to connect with others. Things were different, but in a good way. 
4. Be helpful. 
Cleaning and handling household chores is a compromise at times. Each person has to carry their own weight, and it's so much easier when you're willing to help! I think being helpful or intentional goes a long way in a roommate living situation. It can be anything from taking out the garbage, to unloading the dishwasher, to making dinner for the other person. 
5. Be willing to go 50/50. 
I have heard of some nit-picky roommates, but I am not one of them. My roommate and I go 50/50 on rent and utilities and then pay for our own food. It's been the best situation. Since I live in the "master bedroom", I technically have a bathroom in my bedroom, but as far as square footage, there isn't a significant difference. We still pay the same amount in rent and utilities because its makes things fair and easier! I cannot tell you how crazy it would make me to pay a little more for this or that just because I use something a little more, or blah blah. Just pay your half, I'll pay mine, and we'll call it even. On occasion we will buy each other's dinner or coffee. It's just about doing your part. 

What about you? What are some of your pointers? Have you ever had a difficult roommate?

Happy Friday, xx.  

PLANNERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS

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I am a planner, and I also have an addiction to planners. I buy the Simplified Planner from Emily Ley every year, and let me tell you, the $55-$60 are worth every year! I love the ability to write out my tasks for the day, cross them out, write appointment times, and meeting times. I love the ability to write what I am cooking for dinner, even though it never really works out that way. Thanks, Panera.

I would love to be able to plan out the next 5 years of my life, 10 years, 20 years. I would love to be able to wake up, map out my day, and it go exactly according to plan. How much easier would life be? How much more convenient would my days be? Um. VERY! I would be able to schedule my day, "unschedule" the stuff I don't want to happen, and move on with life smoothly and comfortably.

Unfortunately, this is the real world and that isn't possible. I would never have planned my life to go the way it has. It's amazing to me what can happen in the blink of an eye, a minute, an hour, a day, or month. Years have brought forth significant change. One minute my world makes total sense, and the next day, my life is completely shaken to its core.

I have always loved being able to see into the future with my very tunnel vision eyes. I wanted to be married by 24, have a child at 27, and my second at 30. I wanted to have a house with an open floor plan, large yard, and a dog or two. I wanted to have a job I loved, but a family I could love even more. I wanted my parents to be married, living in a house big enough for 12, where my sister and I could bring our families for holidays. I wanted my life to be what I saw others' lives being. There are so many people who have lived their life according to my plan, and at one point in the last year this enraged me. I kept seeing Facebook announcements of weddings, babies, and more babies.

We aren't able to choose how our life goes. There is nothing wrong with having goals, or a direction in life, but when the destination outshines the journey, that's when we can have a problem. I don't want to be so worried about being "there", "there" being married, a mother, etc. I want to be focused on the journey and what it took to get me where I am, or will be.

Planners can't be choosers. Everyday I must remember to surrender my plans to the plans of God. He knows better. He knows what I need and when I need it. I am so thankful that I didn't have everything I wanted. I am so thankful that my worse will bring something better.

Happy Wednesday, xx.

CASUAL DATING & ME

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I find dating to be exhausting. I am always trying to find the next dating app or site out there. Not necessarily because I am obsessed with online dating. If I was, I wouldn't be blogging. I would be curled up somewhere talking about good of a cook I am, or how crazy talented I am at clogging. By the way, does anyone really clog, or hike, or climb rocks as much as they say they do? I swear, if I see one more guy jumping out of an airplane...

Anyway, I do honestly participate in these apps and sites to stay relevant and abreast of the current dating scene. I am fascinated by how quickly things change. Growing up, talking on the phone or writing notes were the only ways I could communicate with the opposite sex. Now, that seems antiquated. Men would much rather text, message, tweet, or the like. Seeing, talking, and then deciding whether or not you like someone is now replaced with swiping left or right. Whatever happened to organic meeting and communicating? Whatever happened to the spontaneous conversation and slipping your number to the guy who just told you he too shared your affinity with dogs?

Times have definitely changed. I find it more common to encounter guys who are looking for "fun, a friend, or just someone to travel with". Who travels with a guy who isn't their boyfriend? I wouldn't. So, I find it somewhat discouraging that the apps like Bumble and Tinder are harboring men who are looking to connect, but on an artificial level. I cannot tell you how many times I tell the guy my sole purpose in dating is to start a relationship, and they disappear never to be heard from again.

It reminds me of what my parents used to say growing, "Remember who you are and remember who you represent". During that time, my parents were referring to Christ-like behavior, but I think the same can be said for dating. I know who I am, what I want, and what I am looking for. I am looking for a man who can say the same. I want a man who can represent Christ and represent him well. I am not looking for perfection, but it would be nice to meet someone who isn't so casual about dating. Dating to me represents who you will be in your future marriage. Who will I be? I will be honest, loyal, kind, forgiving, patient, loving, and servant-minded. I want who I am, what I want, and who I date to all align. I don't think compromise can be present when it comes to those things.

While the dating apps are fun, and they are a way to put myself out there, I am still willing to wait for the right one. I am willing to wait for God's best.

Happy Tuesday, xx.

JANUARY GOALS

I bit the bullet this year and ordered the Powersheets by Lara Casey. I have heard so many great things about them, and I figured I might as well try something new to get my goals accomplished this year! I ordered the 12 month set of sheets and the Make It Happen binder (which I heart eyes), and thus far I am really enjoying the process. Lara said that the prep work could take up to two weeks, but I didn't have that much time, and I am off from work so I got the prep done in 2 days. Even though I did the prep fast, I still put a lot of thought into what I wanted to accomplish this year.

The Powersheets are designed to break your goals down into monthly, weekly, and daily goals. This is great for me (Type A), because then I am able to check things off of my list (which I heart eyes). So, the prep work helped me to determine a vision for this year, and it allowed me to really express my fears, desires, and excuses I have used in the past. That part was both painful and wonderful. It helped me to see where I fall short, but also how I can cultivate small changes that will help me to reach my overall vision. Very smart lady that Lara!

Here are my monthly goals:

1. Eat only Jenny Craig food (it's been 2 days, but I have done it)
2. Work out (cardio/strength train) for at least 30 min. 4-5 days per week.
3. Volunteer in my city
4. Host at least one get together, or dinner for another person or group.
5. Save $100 this month.
6. Wean myself off of coffee (drink no more than 1 cup of caffeinated coffee per day; then 1 cup decaf; then no cups).
7. Completely abstain from drinking diet soda.
8. Declutter and finalize dining room.
9. No social media on weekends and no social media after 8 p.m. on weeknights

Here are my weekly goals:

1. Set up a weekly budget (include the $50 per check to go to savings).
2. Eat only Jenny Craig food (no cheating).
3. Work out at least 4-5 days per week.
4. No social media on weekends.
5. Drink less coffee; no diet soda.

Here are my daily goals:

1. Morning devotional time and prayer.
2. Be sure to journal at least one prayer, positive thought, or what I am grateful entry per day.
3. Drink less coffee.
4. Eat Jenny Craig food (no cheating).
5. No social media after 8 p.m.

I have also created a Pinterest board for my yearly goals. See my vision for this year.

                Follow MELISSA FAYE BLOG's board POWERSHEETS 2016 on Pinterest.    

My vision this year is to give myself away more, to not be so consumed with material things, get myself out of debt, and really focus on myself (loving myself better), and cultivating more community with Jesus and others. It's simple really, but there's a lot that goes into it. Overall, I think the Powersheets are really helping me to stay focused and pay attention to the things that really matter in life.

SPRING BEDDING INSPIRATION

Since my bedroom is still getting a makeover and I'm not quite done yet, I thought I'd share some Spring bedding inspiration. Let's be real. It will probably stick around until early Fall. As you may know I am terrified of color. I don't know why, I just always feel like a lot of color makes a space look juvenile. I have always seen beautiful, colorful spaces, and just get scared I won't be able to pull the same thing off. I browsed online at www.Target.com and decided to check out their Spring bedding on sale.

I know that I want a neutral comforter and shams because that gives me a lot of room to play with other colors when the seasons change. I have had an all white bed for as long as I can remember, but I feel like its time to change things up a little bit!

Bedding // Coral throw pillow // Gold lattice curtains // Ikat throw pillow // Elephant throw pillow // Sequined throw pillow

I love the mismatched pillows and how they are all different, but somehow they work. I can't get enough elephants lately and it kind of brings the outdoors in. Also, it lets me get a little bit of my safari out. Who doesn't love that during Summer? The curtains are gold lattice. Gold! Yeah, that's all I have to say. This is one way I can bring in color without it becoming too overbearing. Throw pillows and throw blankets can help change up your look without costing too much. 

What do you think?

Happy weekend, xx. 

PAWPAW

Grandparents are such special people in our lives. When I was younger I had four grandparents that loved me, spoiled me, and took care of me. Grandparents really are an extension of your parents, except they let you get away with a lot more and hop you up on sugar before you head home. My Pawpaw is a man I look up to so much. I have always appreciated his strength and his willingness to do anything for anybody. I think he is rare and there aren't many men like him, except for my dad, of course. I would say they are pretty alike.

My Pawpaw started me on coffee when I was just two or three years old. It was mostly milk, sugar, then a little instant coffee, but I like to think he started the love affair for coffee and me. He always said I was a good eater (which I still am), and he always bragged on me being his first granddaughter growing up. He always reminded me that I was first. I don't think I have been first in anything in my life, but whenever my Pawpaw was around I felt first. He just had a way of making people feel that way. I would say that in most things he put himself last. He worked at Southern Railroad for 40 years and it was rumored that he may have taken one sick day. I don't know if many people can say that about their job, but he was immensely dedicated and dependable. He grew up during the depression and even took two years off from school so he could stay home and take care of his little brothers and sisters. He would milk cows and do the household chores, and to me, that says a lot about his character even now. He always did the right thing. I don't know of anyone who dislikes my Pawpaw, and I am sure others would tell you that very rarely would you ever hear a bad word about him.

Growing up he had a garden that he worked very hard, even in his 60s and 70s. Gardening vegetables is no easy task, and he won several awards and was even in the paper for his garden. I remember him having so much during the Summer months. We would stay out there for a week or so and he and Memaw would have us shuck corn and pick grapes. All of the easy stuff. My sister, cousins, and I would run through the corn and chase each other. We would eat grapes and make faces when we got to the pit and very ungracefully spit them out all over each other. He took us to his church's VBS and church camps and all of the kids would swarm him. I kept feeling a sense of pride knowing that so many kids loved my Pawpaw, but only I would have "first" in his heart. I like to think that God allowed him to survive such difficult times because He knew it would make him a better man for it. He's outlived most of his siblings, a wife, his friends, other family members, and faced far more tragedy than I have. I have never fought in a war, or lost siblings at a young age, or endured the Great Depression, or seen 9 decades of rapid change in the world. He is a rare man, and he is so incredibly loved.

Now he is in hospice care and there isn't anything I can do to save him. Although he's lived a long and full life the heart still stings a little. Hospice care is something I have witnessed before and its hard to see someone you love in that way. He's always cared for others, but now its our turn to care for him. I'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers for me and my family at this time. We don't know how much time we have, but we will cherish everyday that he is still here.

Thank you for reading about such a special man, xx.

COOK, WOMAN

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I have always enjoyed cooking since I was in my late teens, early twenties. It all started when my boyfriend at the time and I would cook dinner for my parents on occasion. First, we started with easy stuff like hamburgers or pasta, then we moved on to grilling shrimp and vegetables, and making homemade pies (well as homemade as they can be). After a while I became more comfortable cooking meals on my own. When I got married I learned all sorts of things via cookbooks and Pinterest, and I have to say, they turned out pretty well. 

Since my lifestyle has changed so drastically, and I am no longer married, I find it harder to get motivated to cook for one. Cooking for one can be really hard, so I end up cooking for 45 and just eating leftovers for days on end. I tend to cook unhealthy things since its cheaper and easier, but I find that to cause me to feel like crap. Then there's the fast food. Oh Lord, the fast food. It's just getting ridiculous. This past weekend after being sick and spending way too much time on Amazon, I decided to purchase Bread and Wine and Savor by Shauna Niequist. I am so excited to dive into these two devotionals and cook up some delicious recipes. 

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I know that food brings people together and it also brings a sense of calm into my life. Whenever I cook I just focus on the task and everything else seems to melt away. Food is connected to so many great things in our life and I want to be able to focus on the different areas of my life that need comfort, calm, and community. Food can do that for me and for others. I hope to update you on the progress and maybe even share some of the outcomes of the recipes. 

Have you read and cooked the recipes from these books? What did you think? 

Happy Tuesday, xx.

SPRING BUCKET LIST

I love the Spring time. I just love how the air smells (minus the pollen) and how new and fresh everything feels. This year I want to do things to celebrate Spring, and help me to embrace the milder temperatures before Satan himself blows fire on our state from June through September.

1. Hike at a local state park on a Saturday morning.
2. Buy fresh flowers and place them throughout the house.
3. Have a meal outside - i.e. picnic, eat outside at a restaurant.
4. Break in those rain boots on a rainy day.
5. Purchase a couple of Spring dresses.
6. Celebrate Easter with family & friends.
7. Open the windows.
8. Spring clean my room and house for a fresh start.
9. Attend a baseball or softball game.
10. Wash and detail my car (it needs it desperately).

What are your Spring time plans? I know there is nothing better than being able to enjoy the milder temperatures, flowers in bloom, and sunshine!

COFFEE TALK

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FEELING: I am feeling elated to be an aunt again. Meet little Hudson. I call him my huddy buddy. He is the sweetest, smushiest, most beautiful baby boy in the world. I was able to see him just 30 or so minutes after he was born and that made me so ecstatic! Babies are just precious fresh out of the oven, don't ya think?

THINKING ABOUT: When I will be able to get time off from work again. I know I have been off for about 5 days, but seriously, vacations are a requirement. Hopefully, I can get away to somewhere relaxing this Summer. Which also brings me to thinking about becoming more bikini ready. No, not perfect, but just better. Any suggestions? I am thinking about joining a gym again. I need to get back at it.

LISTENING: To my March playlist on Spotify. Its a mixture of all kinds of music, but mainly songs I have always loved, or am loving right now.

WATCHING: House of Cards and Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Both of those shows are awesome. I am pausing on Parenthood until I can finish these. Luckily, I have not binged as badly as I did last time on House of Cards. I have only watched 2 episodes since last Friday. SCORE!

EATING: Way too much Fast Food lately. It needs to stop!

READING: Something Blue on iBooks. I know I am like 372942975 years behind on this series, but I can't seem to put it down. I am also finishing up Yes Please on Audible. Amy Poehler is my girl crush right now!

THANKFUL FOR: My family and new nephew. He's so precious!

LOVING: I am loving that I have only had to work one day and now its the weekend. I am also loving that I will have my bedroom put together this weekend and you can guys can see it next week! YAY! I have been dying to get things how I like them and its finally happening!

Happy weekend, xx. 

HOUSE SNEAK PEEK

I have been wanting to show you the house every since I moved in, but it hasn't exactly been put together 100% yet. Because we are renting we are somewhat limited in what we can do. No painting, no heavy items on the walls, and with a limited budget I can pretty much only use what I already have on hand in decorating. The other night we had a Pampered Chef Party, which forced my roommate and I to get rid of the boxes and clutter and get our living spaces in order. We organized the dining room and lightly rearranged the living room to accommodate for seating. I have to say, I really like having a clean and organized living space. It makes the room much more inviting and homier.

I might still invest in some pieces to hang throughout the house. I really need a better place to put my kitchen knives to extend some counter space, and I would like some shelving in the kitchen to brighten the place up. The house is old, so it has a vintage/antique feel and I love antiques.

Now, for some bedroom inspiration. I de-cluttered and donated a lot of the stuff I had in my bedroom  when I was married. I think getting rid of that stuff helped me to feel like I was making a fresh start, which is pretty much what you're going for after a divorce. I wanted to make my bedroom my own and start with pieces I liked and needed. I ordered the items below online and I am so excited for them to come!

Walmart

The bookshelves will be made into a makeshift headboard for my King size bed. I was inspired by this post here, and I thought it was a genius idea! I have so many books and so many things I could use to style the shelves, so I am excited to see how it turns out.

Target

I desperately need a dresser for additional clothing storage, and this one will work perfectly in my bedroom. It's white (duh, I love neutrals) and has a slightly traditional/vintage feel. All I need are some pretty fresh flowers to put on this pretty thing.

I'll be sure to give you a full on house tour whenever things are settled! Which should soon.

COFFEE TALK

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Long time, no see, huh? I know, I know. I have been failing miserably in the blogging department, but totally winning in the life department, so that has to mean something, right?

So, to give you somewhat of a life update, I thought this post would be best. Shout out to Ashlyn from Let it Be Beautiful for the inspiration on these posts. They really get the job done!

THANKFUL FOR: I am so thankful for second, third, hundredth chances. So often I forget to show grace to others (working on that), but its amazing the undeserved grace I am shown every single day. I like to think that those who give me the hundredth chances are the ones who are really meant to be in my life. I am not perfect. I mess up at work, in relationships, in friendships, at being vulnerable, at being merciful, at being loving. I am a hot mess sometimes, but those who stick around make every day so meaningful. I am just thankful that Jesus loved me first because I don't know how He puts up my shenanigans.

THINKING ABOUT: I have been thinking a lot about my parents lately. I still get "homesick" at 28 years old and I miss my parents terribly right now. I try and put a good voice on the phone, but I don't see them as much as I'd like to. Hopefully, that will change soon!

FEELING: Relaxed. I am not good at relaxing (mentally, anyway) and I have to force myself to, which isn't very relaxing at all. Lately things have really been getting to me at work, so this weekend really did wonders for me. It's amazing the weight I carry around thinking everything is my responsibility. At some point I need to learn to shut that off and shut it off for good. There are so many things simply out of my control.

LISTENING TO: Country and Pop playlists on Spotify. If you are my actual friend on Facebook you'll see this in your Newsfeed from time to time. Right now my favorite song is Ellie Goulding's "Love Me Like You Do".

WATCHING: "Parenthood". Oh, man! I was so scared to start this show, mainly because family dramas tend to really get to me, but this is so good thus far. I can already feel how invested I am in the characters. I have also been watching "The Bachelor" as per usual. Can I just say though that I am not too impressed with Chris? I just don't find him to be very...well anything...except for hot. That's about it.

EATING: Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

READING: Does Audible books count? I am really loving Amy Poehler's book, Yes, Please right now. She is hilar.

LOVING: Someone new. I don't want to say too much right now, I mean this is the internet, but I like to keep things somewhat private. Just know he makes me really, really happy and I am so stinking excited about it. I am also loving that it's almost March and that means Spring time is around the corner.

So, that is just a little tidbit for now, but I will be back with more soon!

UPDATE ON THE MOVE

Well, I have finally moved into my new house! Can I just say moving is the most terrible thing in the world? I still have a lot of de-cluttering to do and I don't exactly have enough bedroom furniture for storage right now. Hopefully, in the next couple of weeks I can order some things and can everything in its place. I will be sure to take pictures and share them with you guys.

As of now, you can just ponder this beautiful picture.

Beautiful, am I right? Ugh this picture makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Any other OCD'ers out there?

I am really excited about the kitchen though. I am ready to cook some things up in there. As of now, I have 0 groceries because I work every night until 8 p.m., but I am going to grocery shop this coming weekend! It's happening.

I am so excited for my Christmas break! I get two whole weeks off and I am thrilled to just have a little bit of down time. What are your plans for Christmas? Also, can I just show you this awesome sweatshirt I am getting ASAP!

All you IGGY fans out there, you're welcome!

So, that is me in a nut shell. A very small nut shell. More updates to come so stay tuned! P.S. I hope to get back to blogging more regularly soon so please come back soon mkay?