DATING IN YOUR 30s + MY FEARS

Since I have been in the dating game, which has drastically changed since the first time I started dating (back in 2003). I have developed some legitimate fears about dating and I wanted to share them with you today. Now, dating can be a wonderful and significant experience. I have already learned so much, but I still have some lingering fears.

1. Feeling like I need to lax my standards (or gasp: settle). 
Coming off of a divorce makes you a bit (read: a lot) more cautious about your choice of partner. There are some things I read on social media or on other blogs or websites that cause my jaw to drop! I once heard on "This American Life" that it's relatively normal for a girl to date a weed dealer. She said almost all of her friends have dated at least one weed dealer and it isn't a big deal.😞 I may be a bit old-school, but that sounds like something I would never want to be a part of. Something about it being illegal or police or something...whatever.

I definitely don't conform to the world's standards, but it's amazing to me how low they've gotten. Oh, and don't even get me started on the "being over 30" thing. People basically expect you to date someone whose breathing and that's about it.

2. Never talking on the phone again. 
I get it. Texting is way more convenient and what monster would call a woman, but I genuinely appreciate the effort taken to make a phone call to make plans or to just ask how I'm doing. I don't ever want to feel that calling or being called is taboo. I mean, the phones can make phone calls for a reason. And no, not just to call 911 in the case of an emergency.

3. Thinking relationships are only the highlight reel.
Being on social media can make you feel a bit out of touch when it comes to romance. Couples are adorable, don't get me wrong. And then, you throw in a cute dog or a baby, and I am SOLD! But, social media only shows the highlight reel. Relationships are messy, confusing, and hard work. The biggest concern for me is that I will forget that and only see the relationship for what I think it's supposed to be: a blissful, beautiful Newsfeed. It isn't. Relationships for me used to be so easy (at first), but if you broke it down to compatibility, they were a lot harder than they should have been. I want a relationship where I can be myself, but also a healthier version of myself. I also want to be a bit more private about who I am dating. Who says you have to share EVERYTHING?!

4. Getting murdered. 
Okay, so this one is a bit far-fetched, and I encourage you to not read these stories. When I first joined dating sites, I started hearing from all sorts of people horror stories about women meeting men who were convicts or homeless or serial killers and had no idea. Cut to them being kidnapped and murdered or cut up into little pieces and stuffed into their own garbage cans.

Now, truthfully, I'd much rather date in the ways of my youth, by just good ole proximity, but it doesn't work that way anymore. I am not around a significant number of single available men all day, so I have to step out of my comfort zone. I am also not a bar hopper or club goer, so yeah, this is one of my only options. The other option? Arranged marriage. I could dig it.

So, those are my legit fears about dating in my 30's. Can you relate? Also, I am taking applications for nice guys, so send them my way! :)