'CAUSE I WILL MAKE THIS PLACE YOUR HOME

October 16, 2014

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Home is a big deal for me. I have always been obsessed with the idea of buying a house, filling it will children, and having so much love inside it hits you like a brick at the front door. The idea of "home" has always resonated with me. I think it comes from moving 7 times in 4 years. Maybe?

I am about to embark on yet another move. More on that later. I just feel myself being pulled more and more to the thoughts and feelings that are again associated with making another move. After my divorce I wanted nothing more than to feel settled and comfortable. I have moved at least once a year, if not multiple times in one year, only to pick up again before the dust had a chance to settle. I think something inside of me just longs for permanence. Something insides yearns for stability and comfort. Oh, how I love to be comfortable!

Having struggled with anxiety in the past, I always worry that it will flare up once I start packing up the boxes. Change - even welcomed change- comes with its little pang of fear and anxiety. I always struggle falling asleep the first few nights and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling disoriented when I try to find the bathroom. Hopefully, it will be different this time. I am not sure if this move will be for a year, or more, but I know at this point in time, I am learning more and more to just go with it. I love structure and I desire to have a routine that goes unchanged, but I also have to accept that I am 28 years old, single, and able to go wherever life takes me. I may not always enjoy it, but I can definitely accept and learn from it.

I see myself now having girls' nights. Staying up late watching movies and drinking wine. I see myself having friends over for home-cooked meals. I see myself maybe even planting a garden of some sort. It's exciting stuff!

[title comes from Philip Philips' Home]

8 comments:

  1. Very exciting stuff! :) Good luck!!

    http://neatly-packaged.com/

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  2. It is tough moving so much. I did that a lot in my early 20's and each time felt worse than the last. It helps when you are actually looking forward to where you are going and though you may have anxiety about it, it sounds like you are doing wonderfully! Good luck!

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    1. I do feel good about this one! Thanks!

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  3. You know I am similar, it's really important to me to feel settled and comfy in my home...we moved I think 8 times in 3 years. Ugh! That pic looks really cozy!

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    1. Wow! So yeah, you can definitely relate. Thanks for commenting!

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  4. Moving is always a struggle for me. I've also moved 6 times in the last 5 years, so I feel your pain! Good luck!

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  5. ooo I love that style, soft, warm, and a bit of glitter. Great choice! I have moved a lot in the last 5 years an my style is constantly evolving, I wonder if I will ever feel settled?

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