October 22, 2013

Dating. Relationships. Marriage.  

As a teenager I was taught from all of the angles about dating, relationships, and marriage. The truth is, I have had my fair share of dating blunders and busts. Most of which I regret. I acted selfishly, stubbornly, impulsively, and thought very little about how that would impact my future married life. I have always dated with marriage as my end game. That can be both a good and bad thing. It's good because it can give dating a purpose. It's bad because it puts unnecessary pressure on a couple. Not every dating couple is meant to be married. Does this mean all dating outside of the person you marry is pointless? No. But it can be detrimental to your future husband or wife (I say wife for all the guys who read this...None? Okay).
Now, I can only speak for my own dating experience. Shockingly, my dating journey is starting over. I am now dating as an adult. But what the heck does that mean? Does any of what I learned as a teenager apply now? I hope so. It's really all I have to go off now.

The Bible does not speak of dating. It does not offer a 'Ten Commandments for Non-Married People'. During the Biblical days, dating didn't exist yet. Marriages were arranged. Marriages also occurred between family members. Yuck. Now, there are more options than ever. You can literally walk into a coffee shop and meet the love of your life. You can also go online and you're among millions on various dating sites. How does one navigate through this giant world full of members of the opposite sex? How does one deal with the new-found pressures of dating?
As a teenage girl I was told, "boys call, boys pick girls up, and boys pay"...But now, you could be asked out by a guy and you really aren't sure if he just asked you on a date or not...The lines are now blurred between potential friend and date. It's confusing. It's frustrating. I am more of an old-fashioned girl when it comes to dating. I do not just randomly give my number to a guy (okay, once). I do not just ask a guy out that I find attractive. I also do not call a guy first (maybe a few times). Is this sounding very "He Just Not That Into You" right now? Maybe I should watch that movie again...
"Oh Jenny. Oh, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Oh, my Jenny. Wait, what number did I just call?"
I say all of that to say this. I have no idea what I am doing anymore. I don't think I have ever really known come to think of it. Am I alone here? I am not saying I am looking for a relationship right now, but I think it's important that I set some boundaries now for when the time comes. I definitely want to preserve as much of my heart as I can, while I still have some left. Dating can bring about all kinds of complications. The best thing for me is to have things be as simple as possible. Please tell me things are still simple out there...

If not, I am staying single forever. Okay, maybe not forever.

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