September 17, 2013

Can we just talk about relationships for a minute? 

I love these times when blogging becomes a bucket to catch every little drop of my soul I can squeeze out of me. Instead of trends, TV shows, and make up products, can we talk about real life? I just want to have a coffee date if you will.

Life lately has been utterly frustrating for me. Not only am I still knee deep in a divorce, but I have been thinking back at all of my failed relationships and asked myself some really difficult questions.

Why did these relationships fail? Is everyone just better off when I am out of their life? What is it about me I can look at, analyze, and change? Was I that bad of a wife? 
source: Minted
All of these questions are 1. normal, but 2. are necessary. I don't think it's bad to really take a moment, or 6 months, and really look at how I am connecting with the other people in my life.  I think for the most part I am an understanding person. I think I have compassion. I think I care A LOT, maybe too much? I think that I listen well, but I also want to offer advice (warranted or not). Not because I think I am always right, but because I care. I want to walk away from a conversation feeling like I made a difference or helped the other attain some ground in their lives. I am a doer and a thinker. If there is something to be done to help, I certainly want to do that. I am super analytical and want to solve problems. I also want to listen to others' hearts and tune into what they need. I hate not knowing what I want, and I want others to know what they want as well. I don't appreciate lies or any form of deceit. It wastes my time and makes me feel like I am not worth telling the truth to. This is me.

source: Pinterest (no source)
I would love to be in a community with people who allow people to be who they are. Broken, screwed up, and desperate for wholeness. I think we are all in this boat. Therefore, no one should feel alienated from it. I want to be able to share my heart and soul with others. I also desire this in my next romantic relationship, and I think that's okay. It's okay to desire those things for my future. I am not about to throw away everything I was raised to be know and be. I have morals, standards, and values, even if others feel like they are no longer necessary. I am not going to apologize for that, and I don't think I should feel I have to.

source: Piccsy
I am someone who enjoys laughter and wants to laugh really laugh everyday. I want to have friends that are sincere, trustworthy, and caring. I want to be able to see who I am with those around me. I know that I may have a failed marriage, but I am going to succeed with the remaining relationships in my life. I am determined to see the good in all of this. Even if all of this doesn't make sense yet.

source: Pinterest (no source)

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