GETTING MY LIFE BACK
June 28, 2015
I had a conversation last night with my Dad who told me he had seen a photo of me on Facebook and he said it was one of the best photos he'd seen of me. I couldn't understand because to me, it was just a silly photo of me from work. He said it looked like I had life back in my eyes and that he could tell I was becoming my old self again.
I nearly wanted to break down in tears, and honestly, did tear up a bit. It had been a while since someone had noticed that I was becoming myself again. Friends or co-workers may not always be able to tell you that you're on your way to healing, but your family can always tell. It was a good feeling to hear that.
I think the past few years have broken me down quite a bit. I have been through so much and some days I just want to stop time and go back to when things were simple in my life. I wish some things were different, that I had made different decisions, and headed in a different direction. But, I have come to appreciate the hard, dark times I have gone through. I honestly know they have made me a better person. I am conscious and compassionate of others. I am softer in a way and more willing to let people in. I am stronger in my faith and am starting to love myself for who I am.
The past few months haven't been without their difficulties. I have dealt with loss, but I am more equipped now and in a healthier place than I was just two years ago. I have even lost some weight, and my anxiety level has definitely decreased. Although at times it creeps up sometimes, I am better at acknowledging my triggers and can better manage it in those moments.
I took the photo above yesterday - and I think it exudes exactly who I am. The tee was ordered from Garment Collective and I love the story behind the brand. I am able to support artisans who are free from abuse and harassment in Nepal, but it speaks a wider, deeper message. Redemption for all, is right. Redemption from my past. Redemption from my mistakes. Redemption from the darkness that tried to take over my life years ago. Today, I can truly say, I am free.
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