November 18, 2013

Today I am in the mood to get real. Really real. If this isn't the kind of stuff you like to read, please move onto the next blog. It's going to get cah-razy.

Well not so much, but I do feel like I have some things to get off of my chest. Again, I didn't want to make this blog all about my failed marriage, but I feel like some wisdom has come from my experience. I think those who have experienced divorce know a thing or two about marriage.

I was thinking the other night about relationships and I have been reading articles about marriage, and things that I want to remember for the next time (I hope there's a next time). One thing that stuck out to me was when my ex-husband said, "You know...I am a really good friend, but I am not a good husband..." Wow. That spoke so much in so few words.

My first reaction to this was sadness. I thought to myself, "Why does it have to be either friend or husband? Aren't both equally important"? Isn't friendship one of the most important aspects of a good, healthy marriage? I think it is. My second reaction was utter anger. I felt angry because I hadn't seen this "good friend" in quite some time. I hadn't felt like I was living with a good friend, let alone married to one. Good friends are honest, thoughtful, caring, and self-less. These are the qualities I think of when I think of a good friend. These are qualities I would hope my friends would say about me.

I don't in any way want to say that my husband was a bad person. To me, good people do bad things and vice versa. I do want to say that for the most part, good friends are good wives and good husbands- if they choose to be. Here's a quote from an article I read online and it really struck home with me...

"BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier." Read article here.

This speaks volumes when it comes to marital friendship. Friends laugh, do fun things together, and enjoy each other. Last I checked, friendship wasn't all work and no play. Friends make things light and I think your spouse should be able to do that also! As it says, "Don't take yourself so damn seriously." I 100% agree.

1 comment:

  1. Being a good friend is definitely part of being a good spouse. They become the person who knows you best and who you count on the most. I'm sorry that you went through such disappointment. If anything though, you've walked away with more wisdom.