November 1, 2013

Well, it's a little rainy in these parts today friends. This is the start of a wonderful weekend though. I am moving (once again) and I am thankful for mid 60s temps and sunny weather heading my way. Did I mention I am moving? For the 6th time in three years? Yeah, I am kind of over moving. Luckily, I am moving to a smaller unit in the same complex so it shouldn't be that bad. Every time I move I get a little sad. This time is a little different because I will be making the move alone for the first time. It's bittersweet to be honest. I am glad to be moving out of the last place I lived married, but I am nervous to be leaving what I've known only as a married woman. Divorce brings about all kinds of changes, which tends to bring up some anxiety.

I have been trying to focus only on the positive lately because I want to embrace this new chapter. I want to make this little apartment my own and enjoy a bit of stability. I am honestly so thankful that I have made it this far. If I knew it would be this "easy", I wouldn't have worried so much in the beginning. It's not easy emotionally or mentally, but I really thought I would struggle much more than I have. Albeit I have my moments. I have moments when I think of the holidays coming up and how I won't be experiencing them married. I have moments when I see a newborn baby being coddled in public by it's young parents. I thought by now I would have children, a family, a solid marriage, but I don't. These are things I have to learn to accept everyday.

I don't get jealous of those who have those things, but every life expectation I've had the last three years or so has been shattered. I can't explain the pain unless you've experienced it yourself. It's a different kind of loss. I tried not to make this blog about my experiences as a divorcee, but I have to be honest in saying that this is where my life is right now. I hope to bring some comfort to those who may feel the same way I do, and encourage others to be grateful for what they have. Too much of our lives are spent taking life for granted. I hope to never do so again.

I don't want to end this post on a low note, but maybe it's the rain lulling my brain to sleep. Either way, I will be moving for the next three days and I will be back soon to share some pictures of the place all dolled up!

Happy Friday!

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