November 30, 2015

I loved church on Sunday. I love moments when the Lord speaks and confirms everything that has been on my heart the last few weeks. My life has been turned upside down over and over, and it seems as though things keep changing and I can't catch my breath. Sometimes I think life is just that way and there are seasons where we can't stop things from changing. I know it is for a season. I know there will be times in my life where I will pray for change, and hope that somehow my life gets turned upside down again.

At church, tears fell from my eyes. It has been so long since I have felt the Lord's presence in a tangible way. I literally felt his peace wash over me as the pastor spoke. All throughout the sermon I kept thinking, "Okay, God. I hear you." I know that even as my life changes, God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That gives me such a sense of peace. It's something that I have heard all my life in church, but its those words that I hold onto as this season of life continues on. Peace comes from the presence of the Lord, not the absence of trouble. I used to think, "If this problem, or that problem, or if I could just have this, I would have peace". That isn't true. Peace comes from keeping our eyes upon Jesus. Peace comes from knowing that even in the midst of the messes in life, the troubling and uncertain times, the Lord is here with us. He is here. I tend to forget that while focusing on all of the negative things, the Lord is right here.

I know that I have a long way to go. I am not going to magically forget that there is so much in my life going on. But what I will forget is the way in which my mind has been bogged down with the negative thoughts and the negative events which have happened in my life. So much of what keeps us from peace is right in our heads. I am a worry-wart. I struggle with anxiety, and occasionally depression. If I keep my mind fixed on God and His promises, then the struggle of focusing on the negative and worry becomes less and less. How can I focus on the goodness of God by only thinking about the What If's, the Why Not's, the How Can's? God is good all of the time, and what He gives us is good. No longer will I see God as the taker of things. No longer will I blame Him for what I don't have. God doesn't give us things that are bad. He loves his children and gives them good gifts.

I feel as though I am entering a season of renewal. I know that my mind and my spirit need to be renewed. Now is the time for my mind and my spirit to soak in as much of the Lord as I can. I want to be in constant relationship with Him, not just when things are really bad, or when I need Him during a season of turmoil. I want this relationship to be steadfast. Steadfastness will lead me to peace. If you are in a season of turmoil, or trouble, know I am praying for you. If you focus on the Lord, you will see your mind change and be renewed. Peace will come. The joy of the Lord will come.

Happy Monday, xx.

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