I remember my pre-marital counseling like it was yesterday. We had a total of 4 sessions in which we went through a work book and several passages of Scripture. We discussed our relationship, our hopes, and fears, but I will say (shamefully), we weren't completely honest about everything about our relationship. We didn't take full advantage of the resources and help we were given. If we had taken full advantage, we A. May not have gotten married (which would have prevented the divorce) or B. We would have really evaluated and looked at our relationship and worked on making it better.

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I want to offer some advice for you "to-be-marrieds" so you can take full advantage of pre-marital counseling. If you choose not to go through pre-marital counseling, I encourage you to change your mind. Even if you are already married, marriage counseling can do wonders as well! Is it the cure-all to all marriage problems, no, but you can rest assured knowing you did all you could do.

1. Be honest with your counselor. Whether your counselor is a licensed professional or a pastor, always be honest with him/her. Its important the counselor understand your relationship to its fullest. If there are underlying concerns or issues, counseling is the time to meet them head on. You certainly don't want to allow deception to creep into your relationship. Always get things out and on the table.

2. Share your fears. Being nervous or scared is normal when you're deciding to marry someone and spend your life with him/her. I was not honest about my fears about marriage and becoming a wife. I was scared about the future and leaving my parents, but I didn't voice it. Looking back now I should have been more up front about the normal fears that I experienced.

3. Religion is a factor. Whether you are Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist, there are elements of these religions that set a foundation for marriage. I have met several couples and been friends with couples that are either different religions, or one cared more about religion than the other. Marriage is not the way to convert your significant other, and your faith affects everything from raising kids, to celebrating life events, to dealing with life circumstances. Talk about your faith and do what you can to incorporate those beliefs into your marriage. It will be stronger for it.

4. Budget. Budget. Budget. Money was a hard thing for me to talk about. When we went to pre-marital counseling, we hardly talked about finances, and I think my marriage suffered. If you are spender or a saver, if you have no debt or $40,000 of debt, talk about this in pre-marital counseling. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard my friends talk about their finances and be shocked when their spouse divulged the amount of debt they were in. Talk about this way before you walk down the aisle.

5. Let's talk about sex. Sex is still a taboo subject for some people and sharing it with your counselor or pastor can be very difficult. Don't skate through this subject just because its uncomfortable. Aside from finances, sex is the second primary cause of divorce. Sex affects everything and everything affect sex. If you are in a hurry to get between the sheets with your significant other, you are not alone. Lots of couples who have waited are excited to embark on this new exciting journey, but everyone's expectations are different. If you and your partner are sexually involved, then be honest about it, and talk about it just as you have everything else.

If you went through pre-marital counseling and have any tips, comment below!

INSPIRE: OFFICE STYE

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I can't help but be inspired by a well organized and styled office space. I am somewhat obsessed with office supplies and space. I think being productive happens in a space that encourages productivity. Here are some tips to remain productive during the day. I hope it inspires you to do more. 

1. Stay organized. Nothing prevents productivity like an unorganized space in disarray. Before you begin your tasks spend time making a place for everything. If everything has a home then there won't be any question of where things belong.

2. Play some tunes. I do my best work with music that is upbeat and consistent. I try to stay away from pop hits because I tend to stop what I am doing and either sing or dance. I am more focused on the music than the task at hand. I play something upbeat, typically acoustic, with no lyrics. The music helps my brain focus and it lifts my mood if I am doing something particularly boring.

3. Write it down. Tasks are made for crossing off of lists, right? Exactly. Write it down and mark it off as you go!

4. Work at your best time of day. I typically work better between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. and catch my second wind around 6 p.m. If there's a time of day that you are at your best, focus your tasks during that particular time of day. 

5. Keep it simple. I try not to have too much clutter around so I can focus on what I am doing. If I have a lot of clutter around it tends to distract me from working and direct my mind to cleaning. At both my office and home office, I like to keep each space clutter-free!

I hope these tips inspire you to create a clean, organized, and versatile office space for you! What tips do you have? Comment below!

DECORATE WITHOUT DAMAGE

I love to personalize my own space ever since I started living on my own. I think personal touches and making your home your own is very important. I live far away from my family and much of my pictures or photos are either in a box, bag, or just chilling on my iPhone. For the most part, I don't have a ton of photos on the wall because I am renting an apartment and don't want to knick or damage the walls too much.

Living in an apartment while trying to personalize and make this space my own can get challenging. For the most part, I enjoy looking at photos of family because it makes them feel a little closer to me. One of my favorite things in my apartment is this photo block from my sister's wedding.

I look at it and think about how special that day was. I think about my BIL crying tears of joy when he saw my sister. I remember thinking how grown up my sister looked on that day and I remember thinking about how she was going to be moving away in such a short time.

Personalized touches in an apartment is so important to me. I found some other ways of personalizing  or decorating rented spaces without damaging property.

1. Temporary Wallpaper

2. Use temporary hanging tacks, hooks, or putty.

3. Use throws or pillows to personalize your space without hanging items on walls.

4. Using glass prints to put on shelves or various flat surfaces in your home.

What ways do you know of to decorate rentals without damaging walls or property? Comment below!

CREATING A SPACE

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I have never really enjoyed structure too much when it comes to blogging. So much of blogging is spontaneous for me, and I sorta like it that way. What I have found, however, is that it is important to remain consistent for readers like you. I remember looking back one week at my posts and realizing how whiny and down my blog sounded. It seemed all that was on my mind was my divorce and not having all of the things I thought I would have in my life. I am pretty sure if anyone stopped by that week, they were over me and my blog.

So, for the sake of this blog and all of your fine readers, I am going to create some structure that may help balance out my content and my voice. This blog is more of a diary for me (hence the name of the blog is my name), but I also want to create content that allows readers to click away inspired, uplifted, and maybe even a little smarter. The categories of this blog are create, inspire, encourage, and reflect. That is the content I want to generate on a daily basis. I enjoy writing about my experiences because I feel like I have learned from them. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I am on my way. If I can offer a little piece of advice that helps someone, I am happy. If I can create a moment where someone feels they can relate to me and my story, then its all worth it!

Here is what you will begin to find here at Melissa Faye Blog.

Monday - Create Posts - DIY, adventure, travel, making a place of my own.
Tuesday - Inspire Posts - Quotes, verses, photos, art, books, and movies.
Wednesday - Encourage Posts - uplifting stories, positivity, building you up.
Thursday - Reflect Posts - moments passed, memories, lessons learned, teaching you something.
Friday - Free Posts - Fashion, food, general lifestyle.
Saturday - VA {virtual assistant} Posts - blogging, blog organization, tips & tricks.
Sunday - Sunday Edition Posts - linking up with Let it Be Beautiful & All the Things, Etc.

I think this schedule will allow me to create balanced content and attract readers on a more consistent basis. If you are a blogger and looking to find your voice, this may be a great way to focus on what it is you want to blog about. Readers go to various blogs because there is content that attracts them and leaves them with something when they click away.

Bloggers: I suggest you focus on what it is you want to leave people with. If you are a momma blogger, have tips or stories for other mothers. If you are a fashion blogger, then allow your readers to peek into your closet for the best deals and fashions. If you are an avid reader, share with us your favorite reads. Choose what you care about and write about it. Chances are others will care about it too! For more tips and tricks, head on over to The Yuppie Files. I found great inspiration from that post!

I appreciate each and every one of you that read my blog and I hope you'll stick around!

HIGH FIVE FOR FRIDAY

Oh, man did this week like fly by, or is it just me? Just me? Okay, then.

I am so glad it is FRIDAY! I have a good couple of weeks, so let's go through the good things, shall we?

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1. I have not worked a full work week in over a month. I was sick (not good, but time off is) and went out of town to visit my sister a couple weeks back. 

2. I am FINALLY over strep! Thank you, Amoxycillin. I thought I was dying. 

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3. I got to work from home a couple of days this week because of some system issues, which meant I got to work on things without distraction and get some things done around the apartment!

Laundry. Funnnn.

4. I am having a girls' movie night at my apartment tonight. The movie tonight is "Bridesmaids". We all need a good laugh this week, or really anytime. 

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5. I have had pizza three times this week. Wait, is that a bad thing? Naaaahhhh. 

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How was your week?! Comment below!

REFLECT: COMPETING WITH OTHERS

I have always struggled with competing and comparing myself to others. I think one of my struggles may even stem from this here blog (sorry, bloggy). I think a lot of my struggles have come from seeing others be successful and seeing what I don't have, and thinking I am an idiot for not being where 'they' are. You know, 'they'? Yeah, 'they' are everywhere.

The others/they/she/he/it is always going to be there. There is always going to be someone faster, stronger, better, and louder than me. I know that is true, but it doesn't make my inner self any happier just acknowledging it. I have to make real steps to overcome it. Lately, I have been embracing my body and accepting how I look. No, I am not the skinniest thing out there, but I am learning to embrace where I am and love who I am on the inside, so I can take care of who I am on the outside. My body is a reflection of who I have been and where I have come from the past four years. I haven't done my best to take care of it, but I have to remember the good things I have done and the good things about me. That is how I will break this vicious cycle.

I can't compete any longer with those around me. As a woman, I think its natural to do this. I think its natural for us to want to look out for ourselves, but the truth is, we all do better when we lift each other up. If a blogger is gaining rapid readership, I have to accept the fact that they are working their tail off to make that happen. If someone has a fit and healthy body, its most likely because they eat right, exercise, and take care of it. There is no reason for me to get down on myself when others around me are doing well. It should motivate me to work that much harder!

What do you think? Have your struggled with this before?

ENCOURAGE: BREAKING DOWN WALLS

I think throughout my life I have really wanted to embrace those around me and form a community. I see so many of the people I interact with each day living among and sharing with each other. Community to me is the glue that holds any institution or organization together. Community makes up families, friends, schools, marriages, churches, etc. We all live in community and we can all share and learn from each other.

When I was first in college I wanted to create friendships that would last a lifetime. My problem is I have some pretty significant trust issues going on. I get leery of people who easily trust. To me, trust is something that has to be earned, not given freely. Throughout college I had struggles with trusting the right people. I made friendships with people that I probably shouldn't have (ouch) and looking back today and I learned a lot from those 'wrong' friendships. I learned how much to tell and when. I learned about how little people kept things confidential and private. I learned that I have built up walls because I am afraid of getting hurt. I don't take friendship lightly. I hate conflict and confrontation. I like have deep conversations and talking about where people have come from. I love to listen and give advice.

I know now that I have some great quality friends. I have friends that I can call if I need to and I have people in my life that are giving. They are life-giving and they are a part of my daily walk with Christ. I am so thankful for what I have been through. I am thankful for those who have hurt me (even deeply hurt me).  I encourage you to take a step back and analyze what it is that is holding you from creating and having community. You won't regret it.

INSPIRE: WORK IN PROGRESS

"This is a work in progress".

I have always felt that life is a work in progress. The truth is, I let my obsession with perfection get in the way of a lot of things. I think I should have it all together the first day, the first hour, the first minute of a project. I am still learning that I am a work in progress. I have to be easier on myself and I have to appreciate how far I have come thus far in my life. I can't let my own fear of failure dictate how far I can go. I can't let my own pre-conceived notions about what success looks like hold me back. I am going to accept and embrace that I am a work in progress. I am human and I will fail, fall, get messy, and get rejected. 

I hope that someday I can look back and say I tried as hard as I could and I gave it my all. That is all we can all hope for. 

+this post is a part of the new weekly serial that I will post each Tuesday. If you have inspirational stories or quotes email them to me to be featured on the blog {melissafayeblog(at)gmail(dot)com}. 

TIPS TO STAY MARRIED

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One of God's greatest blessings is marriage. Even now as a 28 year old women who has experienced divorce, I know the fragility of marriage and what it takes to have a healthy marriage. The wedding is just the beginning of a hard, messy, beautiful, joyful, sometimes tragic, mysterious union that happens between two people. When I see two people commit their life to one another I am brought back to my own wedding day. I felt completely at ease on that day, without a shadow of a doubt, this was the man I was to spend the rest of my life with. I knew the commitment I was making, but I had no idea what was to come. I had never been married and I was learning all of it and experiencing all of it at once (as do most people married for the first time).

When people ask me about my personal journey and what led me to the place I am today, I am reminded of my own experiences. What I went through may not ever happen to you (I pray it doesn't), but I still think my story matters. I think all of the stories of those who have experienced divorce matters. I once heard that there is a winner and a loser in every divorce. Whether or not one is solely to blame for the divorce - which isn't always the case - there is a winner and a loser. I don't think I agree with that statement. How can anyone "win" in divorce? Both spouses are hurt. Both spouses are devastated. Both spouses are left picking up the pieces of the life they once had.

My advice for married couples (or married-to-be) is to stay married. If at all possible, please, please, stay married. Easier said than done I know. Here are a few pieces of unsolicited advice.

1. Have the hard (read: essential) conversations. 
Don't wait until after you're married to talk about the big stuff. Be honest with one another and tell your secrets. You don't have to necessarily give detail for detail your entire life story, but don't leave out things that are going to come back up one day and potentially hurt your spouse or betray their trust. Get it all out on the table.

2. Talk about money, sex, and kids before you walk down the aisle. The three biggest things in a marriage are money, sex, and kids. How do you plan to organize your finances? Are you a spender or a saver? Joint bank accounts or separate? Talk about sex. Frequency, expectations, past partners (seriously), and what you hope to gain from your sex life. Lastly, children. Do you want kids? How many? What kind of parents do you want to be? How do you see yourself raising the kids? Will one parent work and one stay home? Will both work? These conversations may lead to some eye-opening issues that are definitely worth exploring.

3. Spend time with each other's family. 
Family is HUGE in a marriage. Even if you have the craziest family in the world, your future spouse needs to meet them and get to know them better. When I was engaged (for a hot minute) I spent so much time with my family and fiancee together that we all became really close before the wedding. I think its important to know what you're marrying into. It may not be all roses and group hugs, but at least experience his/her family for who they are.

4. Talk about your hopes and dreams for the future and help each other get there.
Nothing is better than a supportive spouse. When you express your dreams and aspirations your spouse should be there cheering you on! If they tear you or your dreams down, I would re-evalute the relationship. Nothing is more detrimental than an unsupportive spouse (or worse a selfish one).

5. Accept your spouse for who he/she is.
I can't tell you how often I hear conversations between married couples where one is trying to "train" the other. Training to me translates as "trying to change my spouse". Your spouse should never have to be trained. Just as you have your own little quirks and things that you may do that bug him/her, so does your spouse. If you like things a certain way, have a conversation with your spouse and explain the importance of why you like something that way. It could be the method in which you clean or do laundry, or it could be that when you get home from work you need some time to decompress and be quiet. If could be that you like to have dinner going and ready by 6:30 p.m. Whatever it may be, don't simply "train" your spouse to accommodate you, but talk through it.

What tips do you have for staying married. Comment below!

SUNDAY EDITION

Linking up with Let it Be Beautiful and All the Things, Etc. for Sunday Edition.

WAIT. IS THAT THE AIRPORT?

I was going to call this post, "That Time I Almost Died in a Van", but I thought that was a little dramatic.

Here marks the first and last time I ever drive a 15-passenger van full of college kids. So, there was a Braves game that the kids were going to go to a few weeks back. Volunteer drivers were to pick the kids up on campus, drive them to the Braves game, take them somewhere to eat, and then drive them back to campus. I thought, No big deal, I got this. So I decided to volunteer. Not to mention I got to go the game for free. No, I had never driven a van of that magnitude and I certainly hadn't done it in Atlanta traffic (no, I'm not suicidal). 

So, I go and pick up the van and try and get used to basically driving a bus. It's not so bad so I head to go and pick up the kids. They all pile in. The van starts to feel heavier, weighed down, and tighter. I start to slightly panic, but its all good. I will be fine. The other driver was a bit more experienced, so I decided to follow her to the stadium. I didn't realize she would be driving at about 100 mph, but I try and keep up the best I can. The van starts to do this really fun thing where the air doesn't work when I accelerate and the steering wheel shakes so bad I feel like I may lose control. I grip the steering wheel tighter and tighter to try and keep it straight.We get to the stadium (finally) and I pour myself out of the van. I am sweating. I can barely breathe. I was a little stressed out. Luckily, I had about 3 or so hours to sit and enjoy the game before heading back. Our first choice was to go eat at the Varsity, which wasn't too far away. The roads are tight in Atlanta, but I can manage. Then, the kids want Dwarf House instead, which is about 10 minutes from the Atlanta airport. More expressways. Yay.

So, we all pile in and head to the Original Dwarf House (which kinda made me excited because I spent many a nights there in college). I began to follow the other driver and suddenly there are 5 white vans on the expressway. I get nervous and ask one of the students which one was ours. She points and I follow. I begin to worry though because the other driver is going a different way. Did I mention I can't see at night? Yeah. Low and behold it was the wrong van and we end up driving through the airport. It made me feel like when you walk into a classroom and you know its not the right classroom, but everyone is looking at you and wondering WTH you're doing there. You feel so bad that you sit down anyway and do your best to act like you belong...Yeah it felt like that.

We end up getting to the Dwarf House about 10 minutes after the other van and I am so stressed and panicked that I just drink water and sit there. I will say the students were super understanding and laughed at the whole thing. I can laugh now, but at the time it wasn't funny...The entire time I am psyching myself up to drive that monstrosity again. We eat get back in the van and haul ass home. I am so exhausted and tense that I am starting to get sore in my arms and shoulders. Even now my palms sweat thinking about it. Luckily, we all made it back alive and I swore to never, ever, ever, ever get back together with that van again. We are dunzo. Finished. Brokeded up. For real.

So, long story short. I banned myself from driving vans.

DREAM JOB

What would your dream job be? I asked myself this question quite a bit in recent months. No, I am not leaving my current job, and I am SO THANKFUL to have a job, trust me. I work with some incredible people that feel more and more like family each day. I am able to challenge myself, be around college kids, and soak each and every moment in a grace-filled, Jesus-loving environment. Some might even think "that" is my dream job, but let's get one thing straight. My "dream job" isn't just a job to me. It would be a lifestyle, an experience, a challenge, and most of all, fun!

This is a dream, by the way, so bare with me!

1. I would get to wear jeans or casual clothing everyday! Yes, this is important to me. I like to be comfortable more than I like wearing a cute skirt and heels everyday.

2. I would get to have more say in how my office looks. Don't get me wrong, I have a pretty great office now, but what if the offices were all open? There was exposed brick on the walls, a full kitchen/dining area, and even an area to watch movies on Fridays as a reward? Yes, I would have all of that! I would also love rustic wooden desks and plush, vintage (think grandpa) office chairs. Chairs that are large enough to sit in indian style.

3. Lunch hours would be our power hour. We would brainstorm, eat a delicious catered lunch, and just chat about work-related things. I know people need a break, but did I mention there's a place to watch movies on Fridays? I think eating around a table together would bring out the creative side in everyone. Some great ideas happen over food!

4. Fun and music would be a daily part of the office. Have you ever heard of 10 second dance breaks? What if this happened every hour on the hour without warning? Music just starts to play and people get up and dance for 10 whole seconds. Talk about a morale booster.

5. Women can bring their babies to work. I see mothers come back to work broken-hearted to leave their precious babe and I feel like every office should have in-house daycare, get this? At no cost to them! :) You're welcome.

6. I would get to interact with people all day long, whether it'd be on email, chat, hangout, Skype, FaceTime, or talking on the phone. I just want to help, interact, and talk to people all day.

7. I want to blog or create awesome content all day long! Think Buzzfeed or some place cool like that! Can I get paid to Pin on Pinterest? I want that, too!

8. A gym would be available from the wee hours of the morning to the wee hours of the night for myself and all employees. Who says you can't play hard and work hard...where you work...?You know what I'm saying.

So, how about you? What is your dream job?!

'CAUSE I WILL MAKE THIS PLACE YOUR HOME

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Home is a big deal for me. I have always been obsessed with the idea of buying a house, filling it will children, and having so much love inside it hits you like a brick at the front door. The idea of "home" has always resonated with me. I think it comes from moving 7 times in 4 years. Maybe?

I am about to embark on yet another move. More on that later. I just feel myself being pulled more and more to the thoughts and feelings that are again associated with making another move. After my divorce I wanted nothing more than to feel settled and comfortable. I have moved at least once a year, if not multiple times in one year, only to pick up again before the dust had a chance to settle. I think something inside of me just longs for permanence. Something insides yearns for stability and comfort. Oh, how I love to be comfortable!

Having struggled with anxiety in the past, I always worry that it will flare up once I start packing up the boxes. Change - even welcomed change- comes with its little pang of fear and anxiety. I always struggle falling asleep the first few nights and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling disoriented when I try to find the bathroom. Hopefully, it will be different this time. I am not sure if this move will be for a year, or more, but I know at this point in time, I am learning more and more to just go with it. I love structure and I desire to have a routine that goes unchanged, but I also have to accept that I am 28 years old, single, and able to go wherever life takes me. I may not always enjoy it, but I can definitely accept and learn from it.

I see myself now having girls' nights. Staying up late watching movies and drinking wine. I see myself having friends over for home-cooked meals. I see myself maybe even planting a garden of some sort. It's exciting stuff!

[title comes from Philip Philips' Home]

TOP 10 FUNNIEST MOMENTS IN COMEDY

I love comedy. Its seriously the best genre of books, movies, and TV Shows. Something about comedy instantly puts a smile on my face and makes me forget about all of the bad in my world for a few minutes. I thought it would be fun to go through my top funny moments in comedy. These are from my favorite movies and TV Shows and maybe even rank high on your list.

I will go classic countdown style and name them from funny to most funny.

10. The "O" scene in "When Harry Met Sally".

Can you imagine if this actually happened while in a restaurant? I can bet I would not be as composed as Harry if Sally were doing the "Oh yeah" and "ohmygod" across from me. I would probably just resort to climbing under the table until it was over. Oh wait, that may be worse...

9. "The Landlord" episode on "New Girl"

This scene had me in stitches! I honestly felt like this would have been a hard scene to get through if I were one of the actors. It's awkward, but the way Jess and Nick compete and try to get the other to buckle first is hilarious. Just look it up on YouTube. You won't be disappointed.

8. Will Ferrell ("Ron Burgundy") in his glass case of emotion in "Anchorman".

Hilarious. Just hilarious. I don't even know what to say. It kills me!

7. Just this video from "30 Rock". I die.


6. The airplane scene in "Bridesmaids". I mean, "It's civil rights. This is the 90's".

5. Jennifer Aniston ("Catherine") and Adam Sandler ("Danny") talking about their fake marriage in "Just Go With It".

This movie is one of my favorites and I have probably watched it 20 times. I think these two should do 100 more movies together. This movie has everything. The kids are pretty hilarious in this movie too. One of my favorite scenes is this one you see above. They are trying their best to make the other look bad and its just hilarious to see them out lie the other.

4. Asian Jim prank on "The Office".

I don't know if this is funny without any context, but Jim always pranks Dwight and gets him riled up. This prank was by far one of the most elaborate and really pissed Dwight off in this episode. It had me rolling because of the extent Jim went to pull one over on Dwight.

3. Melissa McCarthy ("Megan") pooping in the sink in "Bridesmaids".

2. Square dancing sequence by Pauly Shore ("Crawl") in "Son in Law". 

This movie came out in the early 90's and I love it. To this day, I still watch it and crack up. My favorite scene is the square-dance scene when "Crawl" (Pauly Shore) goes on stage and tries to direct the mid-western folk to do a different kind of hoe down. You have to rent, buy, watch it somehow. It kills me. "Buff the wood!"

1. My number one most favorite Comedy Moment is...Will Ferrell ("Ricky Bobby") stabbing his own leg when he thinks he's paralyzed. 

 

So, there you have it. My top ten picks in comedy! What are yours?

WHY STREP THROAT BLOWS

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All last week I was pretty much sick with strep throat, hence all of the blog posts. Strep throat feels pretty much like swallowing a thousand knives. The only thing that helped was to constantly be drinking something hot and taking 3 Advil every 6 hours. I finally got my hands on some Chloraseptic spray, and I swear angels were singing when I sprayed that numbing crap on my tonsils.

I had all of the classic symptoms, and even took a peek at my throat to see how everything was hanging. It was all red, tonsils were two times their normal size, and some white things were hanging out on them as well. It was pretty atrocious. I vowed to never look back there again, so for all I know, it could look just as bad, but I feel way better.

I don't know about you, but being sick as an adult pretty much sucks as much as it did when I was a kid. The only difference was that my mom wasn't here to take care of me. When I was debating about whether or not I should go to the doctor (which I totally cannot afford to do), I tried to ask my mom what strep looked like. The truth is, I think our mothers know more than doctors anyway. If I could have sent her a picture and had her look at my throat I would have, but she doesn't have a smart phone.

Anyway, I am on the mend and going back to work today. I have to say all of the Ebola crap has really gotten me on edge. If I could wear a suit, gloves, and face mask everywhere I went I totally would. I wonder what kind of looks I would get...

TIPS FOR ORGANIZING YOUR BLOG LIFE

I am no expert on time management, but focusing on two small business ventures and having a full time job is quite the balancing act.

I find that keeping things organized for my blog and VA business is key if I want to be successful. The first tip I have is to cut back if you feel like you are forcing blog posts, or forcing yourself to blog when your time could be better spent doing other things. If I feel eh about  blogging and a pile of laundry needs to be done, I focus on laundry first. The truth is, if I give myself some time to focus on laundry, my mind may come up with a brilliant blog post idea!

So, Tip 1. Cut back and don't force it!

Tip 2. I tried all kinds of methods to create a blogging editorial calendar. I even made it one of my blog goals back in uh...May. The truth is, I am not an editorial calendar kind of girl. Calendars work for my work, my bill due dates, my personal obligations, but not blogging. I tend to come up with blog titles and save them in my drafts folder until I am ready to write about it. I can even schedule them out and save them in my drafts so they are in order. If you find that calendars or planners don't work for you, keep trying until something does!

Tip 3. Have "office" hours. This is coming from a girl that has a full-time job already. Blogging and my VA is hardly full time. I don't know if its even part-time. For now, I have office hours in the evenings and on weekends. I give myself enough time to get home, make dinner, and eat before my "office" hours start. The first thing I do is open up my Blog email account to see if any clients have emailed me their tasks. If they haven't, I send an email anyway just checking in and letting them know I am available.

Tip 4. Answer emails everyday. I know this may seem like a difficult feat. This also comes from someone who is a power-house with email. I don't neglect them, I answer them on the spot, or I email them letting them know a time I will see, read, and process before my reply. If you neglect your email, it can get out of control. You may not be able to get your inbox to 0 everyday, and you may not be able to read them everyday, but try. There's no harm in that!

Tip 5. Last tip. Label your emails in your inbox. I have labels for almost every category of emails. I have one for comments, advertising inquiries, invoices, VA Customers, VA inquiries, etc. Almost every email service has these labels or folders. I suggest you try them out and see if it works for you!

Want more tips, or have any questions? Email me at melissafayeblog{dot}gmail{dot}com. You can also check out my Virtual Assistant services here.

SUNDAY EDITION

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Linking up with Let it Be Beautiful & All the Things, Etc. for Sunday Edition. 

Happy Sunday!

LETTER TO MY SINGLE SELF

Being single is a pentacle point in my life. I have learned so much and there is so much left to learn. I love the new sense of independence I have gained and I don't want to forget it. I don't want to wake up one day next to my husband and forget what I went through these past 18 months or the months to come.

Dear Single Melissa,

Hey, girl. Looking good. How ya doing?

I hope by the time you read through this (because you will remember to) you are happy. I hope and pray you have found the love you've always wanted and though you don't deserve it, you appreciate it now more than ever. You know what its like to lose out on love. You know what its like to follow your heart rather than your head. You know what its like to wonder where you went wrong and what you could have done differently. You know what its like because you have been through it.

Don't forget the times you were feeling as though you would be single forever. Be grateful that you no longer are. What you went through made your heart stronger and more capable of loving deeper. Being divorced has made you softer. Its made your head clearer and your heart surer of what you want. You know what its like to not have the best, so appreciate the best when its there.

When you look into his eyes, walk down the aisle, hold your baby in your arms for the first time, remember all the tears that fell to get you there. Remember all the pain you went through and don't lose sight of the joy right in front of you. For you as a single girl, for single girls everywhere, love deeply, love in action, and love in pain/beauty/joy/heartache/disappointments/triumph/victory/anger. I pray that Jesus is the redeemer, the forgiver, the counselor, and the healer in your relationship. I pray the man you love allows Him to be all of the above in his life as well.

Just remember that you are enough. You are worth it. You are going to have all of the things your heart desires. Keep steadfast. Keep praying. Keep loving. Keep thanking God daily. You won't regret it.

Love Your Old Friend,
Single Melissa

FALL LOVES

Ah, the best time of year is here. No, I am not talking about Christmas. I know you have probably read post after post talking all wonders of Fall. I just think its the most beautiful time of year. I cannot even fathom how we are in October! I mean, OCTOBER, people. It's true, the older you get the faster time goes. It's just not fair.

The pictures above inspire me when it comes to Fall home decor. I hope to incorporate some of these items in my own apartment. Pumpkins, flannel, sprigs of wheat. These are all necessities to bring the outdoors of Fall indoors.

Truth be known, I have only had 2 PSL (Pumpkin Spice Lattes). That's an all new low for me. Hopefully, this weekend I can bump it on up to 3...or 4...or 7. Whose counting? Hopefully, not the calories. Youch.

What is your favorite thing about Fall?

Check out my Fall Pinterest board!