I have been a blogger for about 5 years. I have had 2 blogs, at least 5 different blog designs, and I have made a lot of mistakes. Blogging started out for me as an outlet for me when I first got married. I enjoyed sharing recipes and little tid-bits of married life. After I got divorced, my blog was then altered and changed to fit my new single life. I decided to share my story in case there were others out there in my shoes. A 20-something divorcee is a lot more common a demographic than I'd like to admit. Suddenly, I had readers contacting me for help. They were asking me for advice, or asking if it ever gets better. I am here to say now, IT DOES GET BETTER! Not to sound cliche, but time has really helped me with everything. Now, I see blogging as a hobby, a creative outlet, and a cool way to make some side income. I love sharing stories, thoughts, feelings, and even my favorite shops on occasion. To me, this is a community. In order to build a community, I think there are some necessary steps to make sure that your blog is successful. It's been a while since I have had some goals related to blogging, but I thought I would share them with you today.

Post Consistently

Posting consistently was a struggle for me most days. I felt like I had very little to say, and since so much happened last year, it felt like more of a burden than a hobby. I decided to take a much needed break and focus more on my "real life" away from the computer screen. I tweeted less and less, my instagram was geared more toward my personal life, and forget pinning. I did none of the above very much at all. Now that things have gotten better and I am feeling stronger, my inspiration is starting to come back. Posting consistently increases readership and it drives those who really love to read your blog to come back. I have about 9 or 10 blogs I check on a daily basis to see if they have posted. I want the same for my readers.

Post Quality Content

Posting more consistently also drives me to post more quality content. I cannot tell you how many of my posts were bare bones and a lot of fluff. I am now looking at researching before I actually post, and I really want to include information that experts, or experienced people have studied. I do have a background in counseling, and I know about some things, but I certainly couldn't go and open my own practice. I don't have the background. It's important in some posts to include quality and researched material to give your post more credibility, as well as your blog.

Don't shy away from social media

Social media can become very tiresome, however, it's the majority of our communication as bloggers. It's important to not shy away from these tools. These outlets are ways for us to connect to our readers and to each other. By not participating on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or Periscope, we aren't being completely open about our lives. I do believe in preserving our privacy, buy our readers want to know us more. To them, we are someone who they can count on. Who they go to for a laugh, or an idea, or a dream. I do think it's good to limit yourself to 2 or 3 really good social media outlets. Don't try and put all of your energy into all forms of social media. The material will end up looking forced and it may not drive any more traffic to your site. 

Create posts that will go viral

The posts that do the best on my blog are about being single, living a good life, and lists posts. These posts spread like wildfire because I know they are relatable. I think creating 10 or so posts that can easily go viral can drive consistent traffic to your site. My post called, "Tips to Stay Married" has gotten over 10,000 views, 100s of repins on Pinterest, and has been shared on Facebook and other outlets. Being divorced has given some significant insight into what makes marriages work and for those that are still married, they find the information helpful. Again, this is a list post, includes an easily readable and shareable graphic, and is simple, with little to no fluff. That's what people are looking for!

Blog because you love it

I can tell when a blogger really doesn't love to blog, but does it for the income, or the prestige. I can tell when the posts are all fluff, or really don't include relatable content. These people are operating our of desperation, and not love. I love blogging. I love writing and always have. Yes, I have made mistakes and not every post is crazy traffic worthy, but I don't give up on it. If you blog because you really love it, and love what you can do for others through blogging, then keep it up! Eventually you will find success and you will find what you're looking for through your little part of the internet. Enjoy it! Do what you love!

If you found these goals and tips helpful, please feel free the pin the graphic below and SHARE!

PIN THIS!

Happy Thursday, xx!

CONSUMERISM & BLOGGING

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I love blogging and reading blogs. I also love shopping. I mean, like, I really love shopping. I love online shopping, window shopping, and shopping at the mall or outlets. I frequent the local Target a little too frequently, if you know what I mean...I have been praying and asking God for self-control when it comes to shopping and buying things. Recently, I needed to buy new towels, so I did. While that wasn't a splurge necessarily, it was an impulse buy. I decided I needed towels, so I got them. There wasn't too much thought considering, and I think I should have shopped around for better prices.

The truth is, I shop when I'm sad, lonely, or just need a pick-me-up. They don't call it retail "therapy" for nothing. While I enjoy reading blogs, especially those that have impeccable design skills, or blogs written by women who somehow make enough money to buy things all the time. But, I do find myself more tempted to click the affiliate link and buy something. Hello! I am not stupid. I know that goes into affiliate links, hence why affiliate links are included in posts. The blogger makes a little chunk of cash and so does the vendor or company. It makes total sense, and it obviously works.

My concern is that at times, I feel as though some blogs make me feel like I don't have enough. Now, I know in my brain that is not true. I have PLENTY, believe me. Every so often though, I come across a blogger that has the exact wardrobe I have always dreamed of, or the exact pillow cover I have been looking for. Then, I get to rationalizing why I need that item.

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"Won't I be happier knowing I look as good as they do?"
"Won't I feel fulfilled when I receive a compliment on my dress, or that awesome pillow cover?"
"Won't other people want to purchase that thing, hence, totes making me a trend-setter?"

No. None of those things are true. I won't be happier (maybe for like 5 min.). People don't care that much about what I wear, and if everyone copies me? Um. #Poser.

The truth is, things won't make me happy. Things didn't take away the pain of my divorce, or my parent's divorce. Things won't make me richer, or look richer. Things won't get me friends or relationships. Things won't satisfy me.

I want to read those blogs less, and maybe even hang off of Insta for while. I just can't get caught up in "things" and make myself feel worse for caving in.

What do you do? Do you have blogs or sites you stay away from? Do you shop with only cash?

Happy Friday, xx.

CREATING A SPACE

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I have never really enjoyed structure too much when it comes to blogging. So much of blogging is spontaneous for me, and I sorta like it that way. What I have found, however, is that it is important to remain consistent for readers like you. I remember looking back one week at my posts and realizing how whiny and down my blog sounded. It seemed all that was on my mind was my divorce and not having all of the things I thought I would have in my life. I am pretty sure if anyone stopped by that week, they were over me and my blog.

So, for the sake of this blog and all of your fine readers, I am going to create some structure that may help balance out my content and my voice. This blog is more of a diary for me (hence the name of the blog is my name), but I also want to create content that allows readers to click away inspired, uplifted, and maybe even a little smarter. The categories of this blog are create, inspire, encourage, and reflect. That is the content I want to generate on a daily basis. I enjoy writing about my experiences because I feel like I have learned from them. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I am on my way. If I can offer a little piece of advice that helps someone, I am happy. If I can create a moment where someone feels they can relate to me and my story, then its all worth it!

Here is what you will begin to find here at Melissa Faye Blog.

Monday - Create Posts - DIY, adventure, travel, making a place of my own.
Tuesday - Inspire Posts - Quotes, verses, photos, art, books, and movies.
Wednesday - Encourage Posts - uplifting stories, positivity, building you up.
Thursday - Reflect Posts - moments passed, memories, lessons learned, teaching you something.
Friday - Free Posts - Fashion, food, general lifestyle.
Saturday - VA {virtual assistant} Posts - blogging, blog organization, tips & tricks.
Sunday - Sunday Edition Posts - linking up with Let it Be Beautiful & All the Things, Etc.

I think this schedule will allow me to create balanced content and attract readers on a more consistent basis. If you are a blogger and looking to find your voice, this may be a great way to focus on what it is you want to blog about. Readers go to various blogs because there is content that attracts them and leaves them with something when they click away.

Bloggers: I suggest you focus on what it is you want to leave people with. If you are a momma blogger, have tips or stories for other mothers. If you are a fashion blogger, then allow your readers to peek into your closet for the best deals and fashions. If you are an avid reader, share with us your favorite reads. Choose what you care about and write about it. Chances are others will care about it too! For more tips and tricks, head on over to The Yuppie Files. I found great inspiration from that post!

I appreciate each and every one of you that read my blog and I hope you'll stick around!

TIPS FOR ORGANIZING YOUR BLOG LIFE

I am no expert on time management, but focusing on two small business ventures and having a full time job is quite the balancing act.

I find that keeping things organized for my blog and VA business is key if I want to be successful. The first tip I have is to cut back if you feel like you are forcing blog posts, or forcing yourself to blog when your time could be better spent doing other things. If I feel eh about  blogging and a pile of laundry needs to be done, I focus on laundry first. The truth is, if I give myself some time to focus on laundry, my mind may come up with a brilliant blog post idea!

So, Tip 1. Cut back and don't force it!

Tip 2. I tried all kinds of methods to create a blogging editorial calendar. I even made it one of my blog goals back in uh...May. The truth is, I am not an editorial calendar kind of girl. Calendars work for my work, my bill due dates, my personal obligations, but not blogging. I tend to come up with blog titles and save them in my drafts folder until I am ready to write about it. I can even schedule them out and save them in my drafts so they are in order. If you find that calendars or planners don't work for you, keep trying until something does!

Tip 3. Have "office" hours. This is coming from a girl that has a full-time job already. Blogging and my VA is hardly full time. I don't know if its even part-time. For now, I have office hours in the evenings and on weekends. I give myself enough time to get home, make dinner, and eat before my "office" hours start. The first thing I do is open up my Blog email account to see if any clients have emailed me their tasks. If they haven't, I send an email anyway just checking in and letting them know I am available.

Tip 4. Answer emails everyday. I know this may seem like a difficult feat. This also comes from someone who is a power-house with email. I don't neglect them, I answer them on the spot, or I email them letting them know a time I will see, read, and process before my reply. If you neglect your email, it can get out of control. You may not be able to get your inbox to 0 everyday, and you may not be able to read them everyday, but try. There's no harm in that!

Tip 5. Last tip. Label your emails in your inbox. I have labels for almost every category of emails. I have one for comments, advertising inquiries, invoices, VA Customers, VA inquiries, etc. Almost every email service has these labels or folders. I suggest you try them out and see if it works for you!

Want more tips, or have any questions? Email me at melissafayeblog{dot}gmail{dot}com. You can also check out my Virtual Assistant services here.

100 POSTS

Well, this blog has hit over 105 posts since its debut in August of 2013. I cannot even believe the months (and posts) have flown by so quickly. On occasion I will scroll to past posts read my thoughts and look at the pictures I've chosen to put those thoughts on display. A couple of posts had me going "What was I thinking?" (in a good way), while others made me chuckle. It's amazing what we find important in this life. Things that were once important seem trivial now.

I would say that is how life has been for me. The past few months I have been blogging here have been eye opening. I think going through something painful makes me more grateful for the things I have, and the people in my life I have to share them with. I definitely think more changes are to come in the next few weeks, months, and years. Even if this blog turns out to be nothing more than sharing those things with you, then I am fine with that!

Here's too 100, 1,000, 100,000 more posts!

SELF-WORSHIP

I have been thinking about blogging lately and all that comes along with it. For some people it's an outlet to express their creative side. For others, it's a chance to promote and grow their business. For the rest of us, we are left scratching our heads trying to figure out what all of this is.

I have been feeling so convicted lately. Blogging can be rather self-serving and I know that I am not that interesting, so I have been wanting to make a few changes.

Here are some things that I have been observing and what emotions have been popping up the last couple of months.

01. When bloggers Instagram their super cute (somewhat pricy) outfits, I feel inadequate. First of all, I have not shopped in months and although I would love their wardrobe, its just not in my budget right now.
Tip: Don't follow these bloggers anymore. Yes, they are not telling me to be like them or buy clothes, but the temptation is too great. I have to realize that I am not a fashion blogger and I don't have that kind of budget. They look super cute, but it serves me no purpose to see it.

02. When bloggers talk about becoming a full-time blogger I have to understand that this is not my career. I have a full time job that pays my bills, and it ain't blogging.
Tip: Be happy for them (or don't) and move on. I will never be a full-time blogger and although I enjoy it, I can't give up my job right now to pursue it. I would be homeless in a week.

03. When mommy bloggers talk about how hard motherhood is.
Tip: You're not a mother so you don't know. Accept that it's the hardest job in the world and pray they get 5 minutes to themselves to pee in private and take a shower. Isn't that what all mothers want?

04. When bloggers talk about spending less money and they buy a whole new wardrobe.
Tip: So, where are you spending less money? Never mind, none of my business. Except that you put it on your blog that you'll spend less money and then you buy more things. So? Yeah, never mind I can't.

05. When bloggers give marriage advice after being married for three months.
Tip: Just quote Miranda from Sex and the City movie: "Yeah, its all so hot three days in"…And moving on.

06. When bloggers post product review after product review after product review after product review after product review.
Tip: So, they like products apparently. How much do they get paid to say that? Do they do anything else or just try products all day? How could they try that product? It's for horses. They don't have any horses, do they? Why would I try that? That's a stupid product. I think I should read something else. Wait, I can't pay that much for a hair dryer. Is she cray? She's cray.

07. When bloggers post "messy" photos and it's literally the cleanest mess I have ever seen.
Tip: No one places paper clips perfectly on top of a notebook and calls it a mess. When I do that I say I just tidied up. Why take a photo of your "mess" and make the rest of us feel bad? Am I a complete slob? My messy office has a peeled orange in it too, but not perfectly peeled on top of my keyboard. Who does she think she is? Just appreciate the gesture and move on. They tried to make a point, and it didn't work.

08. When bloggers say they may be an alcoholic…
Tip: I'm not saying drinking wine every night makes you an alcoholic. I'm not saying it doesn't either. If you say that all in good fun, it could really hurt someone who is reading who is an alcoholic. It's not funny it is just sad. If you think you are, talk to someone you trust and don't post it. If you don't think you are, don't post it. Idiot.

09. When bloggers think they are celebrities.
Tip: You're not famous. You may be in blogging world, but you're not a legit celebrity. My question is, why would you want to be? And if someone recognizes you because of your blog, do you have to share it with everyone? Yes, it can be a funny story if you spin it that way, but just saying someone recognized you is not cool, it's creepy. We are bloggers - not movie stars, not musicians, not models. BLAH - GERS. Let's keep it that way.

10. When bloggers get really sarcastic.
Tip: Read this post and share with your friends. They will die. Or maybe they won't. Maybe no one will get it…But at least you tried. Wait, I am talking about myself right now too. So, sarcasm is funny and can definitely make for a great post. But is that all you have to offer? Is that all there is? If so, I will be reading once a month to get my dose and that's it. There's only so much irony I can take.

11. When bloggers write books.
Tip: It can be great or it can be a disaster. Either way, I don't really need to pay you money to learn how you made so much money blogging. You're you and I am me. All I am doing is contributing to the idea of making you money blogging. I don't think people have caught on yet, so good for you. Maybe they will soon.

Blogging can be so self-centered. I get it. It's part of the territory, but it can almost be considered self-worship. Are we all so caught up and pleased with ourselves, that it's all we focus on? I have to work on being less me-focused and be more others-focused. I used all of the examples above to make a point that we are just people. We have families, jobs, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and talents. But are we only using them for our own advantage or to the advantage of others?

Just think about it and get back to me.

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POST INSPIRATION

Blogging can take some serious effort. Rather than being stumped for days and being unable to write, I find places to get inspired. Blogging isn't necessarily a thought to paper (or keyboard) kind of process. Real quality content takes searching, researching, and editing. When I feel stuck I peruse different outlets for inspiration. Any number of these may be useful to you as well.

01. Other blogs: I know this may be a no brainer, but I find a lot of inspiration for posts by reading blogs with similar content to mine. I see what their posts are about, what people comment the most on, and I put my own twist on it. Now, I don't use this method for every post I write. I certainly have things I want to talk about here, but when I am stuck I browse around and see if there's something that I haven't written about before. A good "go to" post is an "About Me" post. This helps your readers know you better and helps you get over the hump until your blogger's block is in check.
02. Pinterest: I honestly love Pinterest because there is inspiration everywhere. A lot of it is visual, but there are also posts dedicated to blog post ideas. Chances are you'll find something that sparks your interest and allows you to write something fresh.
03. What you've been reading: I find articles that are great conversation starters. Translate that into a post and you have a fresh new perspective on an issue you care about. I don't think blogging has to be "fluff" all of the time. You can certainly address an issue, perspective, or concern you have. I think it makes for great writing, and may even attract some comments.
04. What you've been watching: I love to read people's reactions to their favorite movies or TV shows. I used to read The Daily Tay's Bachelor recap every week and crack up. A lot of posts like that are entertaining and it's kind of like having a late night gab session with your girlfriends.
05. What you're buying: Sometimes it's fun just to share what you've purchased lately. The truth is, bloggers are very influential in the market. Trends are changing everyday, so share about your favorite new gadget, tool, app, or piece of clothing or decor. Chances are you'll get some hits for having something no one else has yet.
06. Tips & tricks: Do you have a tip or trick for the masses? Share it! Share your love for cleaning and homemade cleaning products. Maybe you have a recipe hack or a new way to dry your hair that takes 10 min. or less. People love learning new things! Don't be shy!
07. What you believe: I love when bloggers share what they believe and why. For me, I share about my walk with Christ, my hardships, and how I've come out stronger. If you have something meaningful to share, don't be afraid. Some of my most popular posts are from when I spill my guts. It makes you human, therefore it's beautiful.
08. Instagram: I love seeing people's bits and pieces of their life. I love to share mine, and I think it's a great place to look for blogging inspiration. If you have a funny or interesting picture share it and explain why you took the pic. Maybe you were on a trip with your family, your son/daughter did something endearing, or your husband surprise you with a home-cooked meal. Share it with your readers and gush all about it.
09. What you've learned: We've all had "ah-ha" moments. Share yours! I think great posts come from sharing about overcoming life challenges, or learning things the hard way. Who knows? You may really help someone.
10. Look around you: Inspiration can be found all around you. It can be find in a new restaurant, a conversation with a friend, Starbucks, church, Target...anywhere. Just embrace life around you and you will find plenty to blog about. Don't let your blogging life get in the way of your real life. That's the key to always having quality content.

What are your inspirations?