This year has definitely been one for the books. From moving to a new state and city, to leaving friends behind and making new ones, I have had my fair share of change and excitement. If you've been following along on this blog for some time, you know that the last 5 years or so haven't been the easiest. I don't think I've suffered more than anyone else, so please don't think that. I know that plenty of people have experienced loss, divorce, and death before. For me, it just seems to happen a lot more frequently than I'd like, but I can honestly say that I feel like I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Being 31 and having experienced what I have has made me who I am today.

This year as far as my anxiety goes, it has been better than many years passed. I feel like I have a handle on how my brain works when I am anxious and I have learned tools that help me to pinpoint what is actually anxiety and reality. No, the two aren't always related (isn't that fun?). I feel like with anxiety, you're more sensitive, on edge, and fearful. Things that normally wouldn't be a big deal are, and this year I feel more inclined to recognize when this is happening. I don't have the uneasiness I once did and I am working harder to come out of my shell around strangers and new people in my life.

Social media wise, things have been hard this year. I have felt attacked, belittled, and insignificant when it comes to my political and religious beliefs. These are things that are so personal and I don't share them with just anyone (although if you're my friend on Facebook you can see what I believe in). I hate the bashing that's gone on in all directions. It's so uncomfortable and the level is unnecessary (again referring to social media). I feel that so many people have become exactly what they say they hate (aka hateful). It's disheartening, but my hope is eternally in Jesus, and no one else. I don't think like a lot of people and my beliefs have and always will be different. I feel like my calling is to be in the world, but not of it. You do what you wish, but I don't have to be like you or think like you. Guess what? That's okay!

On the dating scene, things have been...interesting. I went on a few dates this year, but nothing worth mentioning. The dating pool is somewhat small, because again, politics. I have seen more people say, "Trump/Hillary supporters swipe left" than ever in my life. It certainly didn't feel that way the last election, but again, I digress (also see above). I am not trying to run away from the fact that it is this way, but it's just not me to be that way. I like to know all aspects of a person. If things don't align in some areas, that's fine. They just need to love Jesus and people. The rest is just preference. 

Financially, I would say this has been the best year. I am working toward stopping the credit card cycle and working to pay those balances off! I really hope for it be paid off sooner than later because I am tired and I have no social life 😃. But, this is the price to be paid. Don't rely on credit cards ever and have a budget. Simple. I've also ventured into owning my own business with SeneGence and it's so fun! I get paid to play with make up! (LipSense color is Blu-Red on my lips!)

This year has had its challenges, but it's had its amazing moments, too! Here's to bigger and better in 2018!

How was your year? Please share with me below!

MY THOUGHTS ON 2016

This time last year I was doing the very same thing I am right now. I have my hair up, my PJ’s on, and I am reflecting about this past year. This whirlwind of a year. Seriously, how did the year go by so quickly?

I keep thinking of the year 2015, and like always, I compare this year to years passed. The year 2015 had SEVERAL challenges. I have to say, next to 2013 (the year I got divorced), it was my hardest year yet. So much sorrow, so much loss, so much gone that once was. This year, I did lose 2 grandparents. This year, I did have my times of deep sorrow and sadness. When one year ends, you don’t forget the events that have happened. This year, I felt like I was reset. I thought to myself, “Okay, 2015 was bad. Let’s make 2016 better!” I was intentional in the beginning. I had some goal sheets to help me get organized. I purchased a planner that was sure to change my life for the better. I had three devotional books that I swore I would read daily. I promised myself I’d start going back to church regularly, eat healthier, lose weight, meet new people, maybe even fall in love. I had so many good intentions, but intentions they were. Eventually, the goal sheets became overwhelming, the planner became daunting, the devotional books were being read weekly, if I was lucky, and I had actually gained more weight this year.

So much intention, with little to show for it. Honestly, this year was amazing in that I turned the big 3-0 and celebrated it with people I love! I actually turned 30 and didn’t have a complete mental breakdown, although I did shed a few tears at dinner. I was given so much by so many people when I didn’t deserve it. I saw my niece and nephew grow this year. One started pre-K and the other started to walk, then run, then babble and talk. I became closer to my family in ways I didn’t think were possible. I saw my sister raise two of her children on her own while my brother-in-law was deployed. I saw people have babies, announce pregnancies, engagements, and get married. I saw some lose parents and grandparents and aunts and brothers. I have witnessed so much heartache and so, so much joy.

This year, I don’t want to fill out goal sheets, or planners, or swear I will do this or that daily. I don’t want to plan my life away, because really, when have my plans ever gone as well, planned? No, this year isn’t about being “intentional” because intentions don’t necessarily bring forth action. Intentions are the choices you hope to make. Intentions mean well, but rarely do they constitute results. For the year 2017, I want to live in action. I want to do, rather than talk. I want to have done something, rather than say that I will do it. I am not saying that goals, or planners are bad. I am the QUEEN of planners, but if all you do is plan, and don’t act, next year will look the same as this year.

I am asking God for guidance for this upcoming year. What will I do? Where will I go? What will this time next year look like when I act rather than intend to do something?

I hope this encourages you to do the same. I hope you ACT in 2017!