I enjoy reading so much, but it has been too long since I have actually sat down and read a book. I got motivated perusing Amazon and decided to make a purchase. For a couple of years, I read books on my Kindle (no longer have it) and my iPad 2 (don't have that anymore either). Now, I think I honestly enjoy reading an actual book. There is something about holding it and smelling the pages...Am I weird?

I definitely want to read more this year, so I may be talking about books on this blog. Don't worry, it won't be boring.

So, a couple of weeks ago I ordered Gone Girl. I am not even close to being done, I would say I'm about 1/3 of the way through. Yowza! This book is cray. It's super interesting, told from the first person perspective, and has a bit of back of forth between past and present. To me, it feels like a movie, which may be the reason a movie based on the book was made. It is to be released this year (Ben Affleck plays "Nick", that should be interesting). When I first started reading my mind went straight to the disappearance and murder of Laci Peterson. The story seemed to be similar, but I was wrong. There are so many twists and turns and I am excited to see how it all turns out. I am not big on mysteries, but this book may have swayed me to read more in that genre. There is quite a bit of profanity in the book, but it's how the characters talk, so what can I say? It's not every other word, but there are moments. If it gets to be too much, I just scan over them. So, pick up Gone Girl is what I am saying. I think you'll enjoy it.

The second book I've purchased and haven't really gotten into yet is a book by Tindell Baldwin called, Popular. The book is about a woman who struggled in high school being in the popular crowd. I have to say the best how-to books come from those with experience.  I haven't really had a chance to delve into it. I will definitely being reviewing it once I'm finished. I picked up the Kindle version for free! You can't beat that! I minored in youth ministry at Liberty, so this was definitely be something I enjoy. I say the teenage years really form us into the people we are to be. Some may argue that, but I honestly think its the pinnacle of any person's life.

My next read my be the Hunger Games series. I have watched the movies, but never read the books and I heard they were really good. I like easy reads that I can just read without having to think too much. After that I may invest in a real head scratcher.

BEAUTY BREAK OUT

I have been going cray over make up and beauty products lately. I am not one to experiment with my look too much. This coming from the girl that's had the same hairstyle the majority of her life. I purchased my very first Naked Palette and I have been very pleased with it! The colors are pigmented and they add a little drama to the eyes.

I tend to gravitate more to neutral shades, but I am starting to branch out and use more bronze and gold. I think its flattering on my skin tone and the colors all blend beautifully.

I have also been experimenting with eye liner. I have never tried liquid liner before, but thought I would give it a shot. I did the little "wing" and I think it turned out pretty well. I just need to get both eyes to look at least somewhat similar...Can I get an amen?

Contouring. Contouring. Contouring. I have never contoured before, and I am certainly not an expert, but I have enjoyed seeing myself get better and better everyday. I am using the Fit foundation in a shade or two darker than my skin tone. It works great for beginners!

This is my beginner "duck" face.

Along with my contouring, liquid liner, and Naked Palette, I have been trying a new face primer by Rimmel called, Fix and Perfect Pro Foundation Primer. It definitely helps to keep my foundation in place and controls oil production. I suggest you give it a shot!

Have you tried any new products lately? 

100 POSTS

Well, this blog has hit over 105 posts since its debut in August of 2013. I cannot even believe the months (and posts) have flown by so quickly. On occasion I will scroll to past posts read my thoughts and look at the pictures I've chosen to put those thoughts on display. A couple of posts had me going "What was I thinking?" (in a good way), while others made me chuckle. It's amazing what we find important in this life. Things that were once important seem trivial now.

I would say that is how life has been for me. The past few months I have been blogging here have been eye opening. I think going through something painful makes me more grateful for the things I have, and the people in my life I have to share them with. I definitely think more changes are to come in the next few weeks, months, and years. Even if this blog turns out to be nothing more than sharing those things with you, then I am fine with that!

Here's too 100, 1,000, 100,000 more posts!

FROM THE HEART

photo edited with the Waterlogue app

I like to write posts that kind of feel like we are in the room talking to each other. These are like my "coffee date" posts. I just have the need to share what's on my heart and type them out. I haven't blogged since Valentine's Day and for good reason.

I think Valentine's Day hit me pretty hard this year. I was also sick that day, which made it no bueno. I had plans to travel to my sister and brother in law's new house on a base they were just recently stationed. I was excited. I was also relieved I had something to do on Valentine's Day that included my favorite people - my family. Time with them sometimes helps me forget the other not-so-good things in my life. The day just brought up a lot of old feelings. The sadness, anger, and confusion all welled up inside of me.

I also tried to stay off social media as much as I could. Ya know, the flowers, the candy, the sweet little photos of couples...It was getting to be a little too much. I wondered throughout the day, why my life had changed so drastically while other couples were blissfully celebrating. What had I done wrong? What was I missing? The truth is, you can't really compare your life to that of someone else's. No one said, "Thou must have a date on Valentine's Day", so why did I feel like I was missing out? Here's why:

I was reminded once again that I was alone.

Now, don't run and hand me a box of tissues. I am okay. I have had my chance at love, and I don't regret that. What I do regret is the pressure I have put on myself to have someone new - "to move on, get over it, find someone else". Why have I beat myself up over "still" being single? It's not like it's been years. It's been 9 months. Nine! A friend of mine and I were having a conversation about singleness and being in our 20s. Our singleness is different, but we are single all the same. I am starting over, while she is starting out. Your 20s is the time to take advantage. I know I have said that before, but it really hit me today. What am I doing with my time? Am I wasting it, or am I taking every opportunity to set the tone for the rest of my life?

I think I may take some time to really evaluate where I am and where I want to go in my life. There is so much pressure to have everything figured out. It's a constant hurry up and wait scenario. I think the 20-somethings out there can agree that early adulthood is a trying time. So much changes, yet I feel like my body and mind are at odds with each other. Some days I still feel 17. There's constant questioning and wondering, "Will my career ever take off? Where do I want to live? Should I continue my education? Where can I meet people? What skills/training should I pursue? Am I ready to settle down? I want to travel, but how do I come up with the resources? Am I spending too much? Should I be saving more? Will I have anything to spare to create savings? Will my student loans ever be paid off?" See what I mean? And all of this even without relationship troubles to think about!

All of this is just bouncing around in my brain at all hours of the day. I say all of this to say, no I do not have it figured out. Who does?

If you or someone you know does have it figured out, tell them to shoot me an email! 

LOVING MYSELF

Love. It has a whole new meaning since I have been divorced this past year. I used to think that love was unconditional, but I've realized that's easier said than done. I think love has conditions, such as honesty, trust, and openness. How can you have true love without those conditions? Without them love would be near impossible.

I decided to join in with Amy for this blog series because I believe that we can love ourselves and love ourselves well. I had to learn a few hard lessons when I became newly single. I had to learn to give myself the time I needed to heal, but I also wanted to allow myself to grow and learn from this experience.

Love is not easy and it's certainly difficult even with myself. I had my moments when I wanted to give up because I felt so alone and rejected. That was the hardest part for me to handle was the feeling of rejection. All of the sudden I felt like something was broken or wrong inside. Nothing I did was helping me, so I cried out to God. I ask that He help me to feel whole and to feel like I was enough. Little by little I have had to break out of my comfort zone. I have had to let people in and ask for help when I need it. One of the hardest parts of becoming single is that I can go days without one single hug. A hug. A simple embrace with another person. Sometimes I just need a hug.

I don't want this post to be negative, or seem like a downer. That isn't my point at all. I want to share with you how I have been able to love myself again. After experiencing divorce it's important to learn to love yourself before loving someone else again. I am on this journey today. Here I am loving myself and what you can do too:

1. Give yourself a break.
2. Give yourself time.
3. Pamper yourself every once in a while.
4. Do things with others even when you want to be alone.
5. Allow others to help.
6. Appreciate your quirks, flaws, and your mistakes. Even if you stare and study the most beautiful seemingly perfect things, you will see imperfections.
7. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.

This Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about you and a significant other. It can be showing yourself that you are significant. If you want to learn to love yourself, I say start today. It doesn't have to end after the ending of relationship. I am sending you all virtual hugs today.

HOORAY FOR JULEP

+I am a part of the blogger affiliate program for Julep, Inc. and this post includes affiliate links. All opinions are my own.
I am a big fan of polished nails. I look and feel a bit fancier when my nails are polished. I don't play around with too many trends because I tend to gravitate more to classic and timeless looks.

pictured: "Myrtle" (red) "Zora" (light pink)

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pictured: January "Classic with a Twist" intro Maven Box

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