I have always seen these fun little posts on blogs, so I thought I would join in and share my favorite links & loves today.

LINKS + LOVES

Do you remember Caila from a little show called, "The Bachelor"? Well, she now has a blog and I love her vibe! She is a very bubbly, positive person and deep down I rooted for her and Ben. I wish her all the best in her new journey, reality TV celeb or not!

This weekly Simplified Planner will be calling my name come May 11! Which one are you getting?

This video. So much good!

Wireless headphones from Sudio. They are a life saver!

I feel like this everyday.

A wonderful post about making Jesus the center of it all.

This week's posts:
60 Day Challenge
The Anxiety of Turning 30

60 DAY CHALLENGE

SHOPPING. 

It's no secret that women love to shop. Don't get me wrong, that isn't exclusive to just women. I know plenty of men who love to shop as well. I love to shop for many different reasons, but I think the main one is, stuff really makes me happy. Temporarily. After the high of having something "new" wears off, I am out once again shopping for the next new thing(s). 

I have made a commitment to not shop for frivolous items for 60 days. That's right. Two whole months free of Target, Old Navy, and online purchases. I will only shop for things that I need, such as groceries, toiletries, medication, etc. If it isn't a "need",  I am not going to buy it. Here's an extensive list of what I plan to cut out: 

1. Additional subscription services that I do not need (including Home Chef).

2. Additional make up or hair products that I don't currently use. 

3. Books, movie rentals, going to movie theatre, new music on iTunes or CDs. 

4. Online shopping. 

5. Any shopping outside of what I NEED at the grocery store.

6. Farmer's Market purchases on Saturdays. 

7. Coffee shop trips (YIKES!).

8. Eating out more than 2 times a week.

9. (Anything else additional I may have forgotten).

Here's what I hope to accomplish during these 60 days. 

1. I want to pinpoint the reasons and triggers for why I shop. Maybe I shop out of boredom, to procrastinate, to feel better, etc. I want to know when and why I shop. 

2. I want to better use my time to do other things, such as exercise, cook, read, and maybe take up another hobby. 

3. I want to see my financial situation once all shopping has ceased, so I can see exactly where my money is going. 

4. I want to be creative with my current things, such as clothes, make up, hair products, etc. I need to use what I have and not just reach for more.

5. I want to use the funds that I would spend on myself, helping others or knocking out some serious debt. 

via

I will report in 60 days with my progress, any and all changes, and how it affected my well being. I am really looking forward to these 60 days and what I learn!

Are you interested in partaking in a 60 Day Challenge, or would you like to challenge me to something for 60 days? Send me an email to melissafayeblog(at)gmail(dot)com. I would love to take the challenge on! 

THE ANXIETY OF TURNING 30

I have a lot of feelings about turning 30. I think that there is a point where women, before they turn 30, lose their mind and start re-evaluting every little mistake, dream, and goal they have ever had, or will have. As you may already know, I struggle with anxiety. For right now, my anxiety feels to be manageable, but it is certainly there bubbling in the background.

Growing up, I never thought I would turn 30. I mean, I understood it was kind of inevitable, because #aging. But, I just didn't think about the possibility that I wouldn't have everything I wanted. I pictured myself married with one to two children and a beautiful house. I pictured myself either being a career woman (owning my own counseling practice), or perhaps counseling on occasion with a handful of clients, but being available to my children and raising them very hands-on. I saw myself being comfortable and feeling settled at 30.

I am now less than two months from turning 30 and I am single, somewhat restless in my career aspirations, and very much not a mother right now. When I spoke to someone about this openly, the underlying theme was that somehow I had failed. Somehow I had missed the mark and all of those "almost" had me thinking naively I deserved better. Why couldn't I have settled with so-and-so, and why didn't I go ahead and just accept that maybe that was the best I could do? Or why didn't I just crap out on my Master's degree and stay as far as I could from the $20,000 of additional loan debt I had accrued? Why can't being an aunt feel like enough right now while I am childless?

All of these questions give me chest pain. I will be open about that. Turning 30 is somehow this precipice and its only downhill from here. I know that isn't actually true, especially with the progression our society is going. But, there are just things I want in my life that I don't have. How can I make peace with not being where I pictured myself to be at 30 years old?

As I spoke about my anxiety, something amazing happened. I finally pinpointed how I was feeling. For a couple of months, I was so confused about how I felt about being 30. I felt old, yet empowered. I felt like I had so much life ahead of me, but yet my sense of youth felt essentially over. I don't have the same excuses anymore that a 20-something can pass for. She said, "You know there is a sense of authority that comes with 30. You now have life experience, life wisdom, and you're able to tackle your goals with the knowledge of what not to do." I knew deep down she was right. My 20s had some train wreck moments. I went through a divorce in my 20s and if I could go back, I would tell myself, "Hey girl. Let's slow this thing down and think about getting married around 30". I listened to the Bobby Bones Show the other morning and the majority of the radio co-hosts and producers said the ideal age to get married is...you guessed it...30!

While I haven't had a serious relationship in a year or so. I have learned much in my singleness. I have great things in my life, but I also want to make some changes and I want to be sure that everything else is good alone before I can add another person to my life. I want to embrace turning 30 and I want to enjoy entering into this new chapter.

What did you do when you turned 30? How did you celebrate? Am I totally off here?

Happy Monday, xx!

IN THE MIDST

In the midst of life, it is easy for me to forget that there is very little I have control over. In the next couple of months, I am turning 30. I never thought this time would come, but here it is. At 30 years old, I saw my life looking very different than it does right now. Have I accomplished a great deal? Yes, of course! But, there are still things I long for that have yet to come to fruition.

I thought by this time in my life, I would be married, owning my first home, and have a little babe on the way. I saw myself being a relatively "young" mom, and having my home ready and waiting for littles to come along. Now, my children have been replaced with my niece and nephew (which I wouldn't trade), and my married life has been replaced with singleness. My job as a SAHM has been replaced with a job in higher education (which I also wouldn't trade). My home ready for littles is now replaced with an apartment filled with two single females and all of their junk. No, the picture I had envisioned of my life up until this point has not come to be.

I feel two distinct things about this.

1. Disappointment. I am disappointed. I am disappointed in myself for having made some wrong decisions. I am disappointed in others who have hurt me and even left me, or thrown me to the side. I am disappointed in God. Does He not hear me? Does He not see the struggles I have? Does He not care about what I want or who I want in my life?

2. Scared. I am scared about what this could mean for my life. Am I destined to be single and just didn't know it? Does the family I always envisioned not exist in God's eyes? I am scared about what I could be missing. I am scared of some of the risks that I could not be taking. I am scared that this feeling of not being able to move forward or backward will last forever.

Here's what I do know about these feelings.

1. They are valid. Disappointment and fear are very real feelings that a lot of people turning 30, 40, or 50 can relate to. Honestly, these probably aren't exclusive to milestone birthdays, or birthdays in general. These feelings I have wrestled with for a few years now. I think turning the BIG 3-0 is just magnifying the emotions.

2. They won't last forever. I still have many joys in life to embrace and look forward to. My life isn't over, it's just beginning. While I do have the feelings of disappointment and fear breathing down my neck, I still have hope. I have glimmers of hope when I complete a big project at work, or when I cheer up a friend, when I hear my niece and nephew laugh, or when my roommate and I uncontrollably laugh in a drive thru lane because of something dumb I said.

I know that there is so much to this life that I have yet to even fathom. I know that in these moments I am being refined and softened. I know the Lord is working things out for my good and that He is listening to me when I cry out to Him. Turning 30 for me is a big deal and right now it feels hard. I feel anxiety and I feel panic, but I pray constantly for peace. I pray for the joy that only Jesus can give. We all have our struggles and we all have things we are waiting for.

As for now, I will wait.

Happy Monday, xx.

REVIEW OF HOME CHEF

I used to love cooking a few years ago. I loved going to the store, planning meals, and then coming home each day and creating a delicious meal to unwind from the day. After I became single again, it was much easier to just eat out so I wouldn't have to cook for one. Cooking for one can be somewhat difficult. I either make too little, or make too much.

Lately, I have become burned out by restaurants. I have gone to every restaurant in my area more than once, and sometimes I just crave a home cooked meal. The issue is that I don't have a lot of time to go grocery shopping, and I don't want to buy more meat and produce than I need.

I had been hearing a lot about meal home delivery services, but I wasn't sure that it would work for me.

1. I work every weekday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and sometimes later.
2. I have a 35 minute commute each day, so that puts me getting at home at 5:35 p.m. to 5:45 p.m. at the earliest. Most days it's 6:00 p.m. or later.

So, one of my co-worker friends tried Home Chef and she said it was working out great for her! I was a little skeptical because I am not an advanced cook by any means. I know the basics and what I've learned watching the Food Network, so I wasn't sure I'd be able to cook the meals. She told me they take 30-35 minutes to cook, and all of the meals are easy. She also sent me a code for $30 off my first order, so sold! Duh.

I love all of the meal options, and the calories, fat, carbs, and protein content is on the recipe card. That makes it really easy to select the healthiest options. They also include whether or not the recipe is gluten free, nut free, soy free, etc. That is really helpful for those with food allergies. Each Friday at 12 p.m. new meal options are released for you to choose from. The meals are delivered on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday and they can be for a minimum of 2 servings up to 6. I find that two servings is the perfect amount for me. I have dinner one night and then lunch/dinner for the next day. That equals to 6 meals a week for $60. That is way less than if I were to eat out those meals, or even grocery shop.

I love the ability to come home knowing I have food that is pre-portioned, and all sauces, wines, spices, and butter are all pre-portioned as well. This makes putting the recipe together really easy! Each shipment comes with recipe pages that are hole punched so you can keep them in a binder (binder provided). All you need to have on hand is salt, pepper, and olive oil.

A link for you to sign up is included here! If you have any questions about the meals or preparations, please let me know. I'd love to help!

Happy Cooking, xx!

APRIL GOALS

Yay! Today is Friday and I am so ready for this week to be over and get on with the weekend, amen? 

This week has been filled with pollen and rain and pollen and rain. I feel like I am in this fog where my eyes are dry, I am groggy, and there aren't enough tissues. Isn't Spring in the south just grand?

So, after realizing that I only blogged once last month (eek!), I will include the results of my February goals, since my March goals were pretty much M.I.A.

February Goals:

Try Home Chef for one month.
Work out at least 2 days per week.
Reduce social media/TV watching before 9 p.m. 
Unplug one weekend this month.
Finish my budget in my workbook.
Consistently tithe.

I don't recall working out at least 2 days a week. Okay. I really don't recall it, because it didn't really happen. I don't think I unplugged one weekend. In fact, I think my social media and TV watching was worse...I didn't consistently tithe because my attendance at church has been way down.

April Goals:

Grocery shop and cook at least 3 meals per week.
Work out at least 2 days per week.
Consistently tithe.
Read and finish at least one book this month.
Create a budget for debt reduction goals.
Get a key holder for the entryway.
Get a rug for the entryway.
Purge clothes and home items for Spring cleaning.

What are your goals for April?

Happy Friday, xx!