I have always been a fan of the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows on ABC. I am such a fan, I have nearly watched every season and started doing so Season 1. I was fascinated by the show and even deep down wanted to be on the show. How cool would it be to be chosen out of 30 women and have a huge rock given to you at your dream proposal? All of the men and women seem to be perfect. They are all beautiful, fit, and successful. In recent seasons some characters have definitely been chosen to be on the show, but from its beginnings, I always believe the show to be "real". Reality TV is a far cry from reality, people.
When Emily Maynard came into the scene on Brad Womack's famed second season, I was so infatuated with her. She was beautiful, poised, and southern, and she had already endured such heartbreak when her fiancé and father of her child passed away tragically in a plane crash. Knowing that she had already endured so much, I hoped that Brad would choose her to be his fiancé, and choose her he did.
Their relationship seemed so genuine, and I was upset when I heard about their relationship ending only after a few months of the show airing. I was so enthused when Emily returned to become the Bachelorette. "Finally!" I thought. "Maybe she would have a real shot at love on this side of the show". I thought maybe since she was calling the shots she would have better luck at choosing the right guy.
I was so over-the-moon excited when she chose "one F Jef". He was cool, laid back, and completely different from Brad. I thought for sure they had a shot, only to be disappointed later when her second televised engagement turned out to be a failure. I thought surely this girl is done with love. A couple of years later I saw Emily appear on Good Morning America talking about her new fiancé. Holy crap! Three engagements, zero marriages. I didn't believe this would last either. It wasn't until I saw her wedding video on Vimeo that I thought, "Now, this guy is for real. Their love is for real. Their marriage is for real". I started reading her blog hoping for more insight on how they met, when they got engaged, etc. It seemed like a fairy tale. When Emily released her book, "I Said Yes", I kept it on my reading list. This past weekend I picked up a copy at Barnes and Noble, and in less than 2 days, I finished the book.
For one, the revelations about how the Bachelor and Bachelorette are filmed are fascinating. I had no idea that there was so much editing and directing. It definitely takes the seemingly spontaneous, outrageous perspective of the show away. There is a lot of waiting, waiting, waiting, and very little time with the actual Bachelor or Bachelorette. If you add all of the time you get to spend with them at the end of the filming, it's mere hours. How can you really be set up for relationship success in such little time? I definitely see how being on that show would have me pulling my hair out. I do commend her for getting through it on very few hours of sleep and very little downtime. If you are the Bachelor or Bachelorette, you are basically filmed 24/7. After all, this is a show that consists of people's real jobs. This is how they make a living, so you can't afford to disappoint anyone, or not put your all into it.
In the beginning of the book, Emily shares little known insight into her upbringing. Although she grew up somewhat privileged, she moved around a lot. She was even sent to a couple of boarding schools, which ultimately led her into a couple of bouts in the psych ward. She was lonely, depressed, and wanting nothing more than to be home with her family. School was a challenge for her, and she never went to college. I for sure thought she was a college graduate, although I am not sure where I got that information. Emily was beautiful (as always), but painfully shy. She definitely endured her fair share of doubts and insecurities. She doesn't talk too much about how she keeps her beautiful figure, by the way. Something I was hoping she'd cover. Maybe she just has good genes?
When she talks about her relationship with Ricky Hendrick, you feel even worse about how his life was cut tragically short. She had such high hopes for the both of them, but when she revealed how she found out about his death, and her pregnancy, it gave me such a crushing feeling. I have no idea how I would have handled that. I won't spoil anything, so if you want to know more, pick up a copy!
A few things I learned from this book were:
1. No matter how beautiful or perfect the world deems you, there are still insecurities and doubts. Nobody is perfect.
2. Not every opportunity that comes your way is from God. You can say, "No".
3. If it doesn't align with God's Word, there is no use in tempting the Spirit for signs. The signs are already written out for you.
4. Studying the Word through and through and prayer are the only ways to maintain a relationship with Christ. Reading about God or talking about God isn't enough.
5. The right man will set himself apart. Knowing the man is the right one takes paying attention to how he lives, not what he says.
6. Sometimes a long and broken road is what it takes to bring you to Christ. All of us have a past. We all have shameful moments and moments of stupidity. Don't define yourself by your mistakes.
7. Feelings of love is different from loving others. It's not always emotional. It's a daily journey and choice.
Overall, this book was an easy read and had some great truth to it. I think Emily is still the beautiful, poised, and southern woman I thought she was, but now I see more into her life. I see now that her life has been far from perfect and it gives me hope that my own bad choices in my life, won't lead me to suffer those consequences forever. I have already been brought through so much by the grace of God. I have hope that I too can have a happy ending, whatever that looks like.
I encourage young women to read this book because it does have a great message. You can get it at almost any book retailer.
Happy Tuesday, xx!
