DATING IN ADULTHOOD

It is no surprise that the dating game has changed in the last decade or so. Online dating has become more prevalent, as are dating apps for the smart phone. I never thought I would see the day that I would subscribe to a service, such as Match.com, but oh, it happened. By golly, it sure did. I encountered quite the interesting fellas from time to time. Here is a summary of these encounters...

At First Site_Marriage Proposal

Yeah, I am not kidding. A guy from Las Vegas (shoulda known) messaged me and told me that my hips looked fruitful and he wanted to put a baby inside me. So cliche, right? I was shocked. Not only did he message me (and wink the living life outta me), but he messaged me more than once. He told me I looked sweet, innocent, with just the right amount of "naughty". I feel gross just typing this. Needless to say, he was blocked soon after. 

The Judgment_Impending Block

Then there was the judgment from a fellow Christian brother that I should be ashamed for being a Christian and being divorced. I'm sorry...What was that part about judging again? 

The Fizzler_Sizzler

There was one guy I had a pleasant few conversations with online. We talked about our jobs, families, and growing up. We even exchanged numbers and talked on the phone a few times. Then, all of the sudden, it just stopped. I didn't really care which made me realize I didn't really like the guy. No harm done. 

The Snoozer_Boozer

If this guy wasn't drinking himself into a stupor every night (which he openly admitted to) then he was boring the pants off of me. It all started fine. He was polite, asked good questions, but then a switch was flipped. He couldn't come up with a thing to say, but he would still message me. "Hi, how are you? Hi, what are you up to? Hi, Hi, Hiiii". Eventually, I stopped responding because it was really leading to nowhere. 

The Tinderizer

So, this Tinder app. I don't know about that. I downloaded the app after seeing it mentioned on "The Mindy Project" (LOVE that show by the way). At first, I was so confused. How am I supposed to like someone based on a couple of pictures? Answer: Exactly. I am not exactly sure how it all works, but I am guessing they have found a way to pump an addictive substance out of the app because after I started using it I couldn't stop. Oh, yes I could stop. When I started seeing guys I knew...Including my ex! Awesome. 

So, for all of you non-single people out there. Be grateful. It ain't getting any better out here, I'll tell ya!